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Variable PLR DRR
A Transcript of RA on My Variable
May 29, 2024
 
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[Music]
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the an memor know his face sometimes and
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your heart knows his grace is will
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[Music]
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see hello and welcome to your variable experience those of you watching on joov archive TV and um yes uh you've got a
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front row seat on on your Workshop so I hope you're going to enjoy it I'm not going to uh be looking at you too much
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but nonetheless uh I think you'll find it rather interesting okay let's begin the
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story uh everything about my work in human design has been dedicated to the
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body uh not particularly because that is the most incredible thing for me because
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it isn't it's it's the Consciousness that is really so fascinating but you can't get there until you go through all
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of the param mutations that it takes to to align yourself to what is physically correct for you human design has been
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about strategy and Authority all of these years that is a a way of turning
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away from the control of the mind and the control of the mind is basically where where we all come from we come
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from a history of mind being in control of of Destiny this is not what we're
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about and and in order to be able to deal with that you just cannot deal with that by simply confronting the Mind
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itself you can't it's too tricky you know the mind is a tricky thing all you can do is actually just rip away its
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power you know steal the throne from underneath its warm bum and uh allow it
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to fend for itself and that's really what strategy and Authority does it gives you an opportunity to free your
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mind from being caught up in all of the the mundane business that attracts you
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to decision making and forces you to live away from what's possible anything that I can share with you with about
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variable no matter that these variable workshops are designed to create very simple packages for you at the Practical
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level to take advantage of this information it is ultimately dependent
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on your correctness you know whatever human design is it it the the Alpha and
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the Omega is still strategy and Authority you know this is the underlying thing because without that
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you're never going to be able to find the awareness that is inherent in your design okay so all of that
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aside variable arrows aren't they cute
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hey um I I I find it fascinating that you
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can distill so much incredible information down into a couple of
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arrows and uh it reminds me of the beauty of the physics of the binary you
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know anything is possible you take two things you juxtapose them you move them in space and you end up in a room like
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this you know it's an incredible thing to understand this fundamental binary so you got an incredible binary here and
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what we're looking at when we're looking at variable when we're looking at those arrows is that basically we're ignoring
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everything other than one theme cognition and where we find cognition is
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that we find cognition at a level below the line that is uh for the last five or
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six years most of my work has been about elaborating on the various levels that
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are there beneath the line the colors that are there the six potential colors below the colors the tones the six tones
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and Below them the bases we all receive our information through the base but it
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is only the tone which is in essence the interior of the crystal it is only the
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tone that actually gives us our cognitive architecture cognitive architecture we are designed to be aware
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I mean that's the whole point of all of this you know we are designed to be aware there's enough life forms on this
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planet that demonstrate all the other possibilities you know we have a specialty and what is inherent in US is
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this potential to be aware it is written literally in our code and what we're
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looking at when we're looking at tonal cognition is that it means that intelligence the potential that through
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intelligence we can find awareness that it resides basically in four different
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places those four different places together they create the holistic
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awareness that's possible in all of us so when we're looking at these arrows
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and we're looking at tone the first thing is to understand simply what tone is about when we look at it in design we
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see it as a triangle and if you look at this triangle and you cut this triangle right
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down the middle what you get is a leftest and a rightness the first and
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the second and the third tones pull everything left the fourth and the fifth
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and the sixth tones they pull everything right now they're very different the
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left side is rooted in a splenic binary it's rooted in survival it's rooted in
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the immune system it's rooted in the need to be able to maintain oneself in the world it's all connected to the
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outer visual part of us that can be strategic and master things the right
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side's very different because the right side is something that's coming it's
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something that is emerging when we're looking at the left and we're looking at the right we're actually looking at
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evolutionary history and we all carry different evolutionary formulas within
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us if you take a look at the full graph of the 16 variables if you look up in
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the upper leftand corner what you get get to see is it's all left left left left left and if you look at the bottom
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right hand corner what you get to see is it's all right right right right right if you draw a diagonal down that line
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you're looking at Evolution you're looking at a movement from the past to the Future and we embody all of it if we
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look at our evolutionary history we began as neanderthals five centered
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beings who were right who were right and then we became homo sapiens
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modern humans so-called who are seven centered beings who were left now we're
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an interregnum before the next right comes so we carry both we carry the left
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we carry the right we carry the past we carry the future your three parts future
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one part past as a formula you know in other words there's a lot of you that is
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built for something that's coming and there's a part of you in that sense that is holding on to the roots in the past
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all right and when we're looking at these terms left and right left is about strategic it's about
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being active it's about being focused right is passive it's receptive
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it's peripheral so understand our history we succeeded as a species because we were
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really left you know strategic creatures working out the plan and figuring out
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how to conquer all that stuff the right is very different the
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right has no purpose it's not about purpose only the
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left has a purpose I got to get there the right isn't interested in there it's
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I'm here it's very different it's very
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different okay so let's take a look how this works for you
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we begin with the design and we begin with the Design sun earth when we're looking at the Design sun earth what we're looking at is the brain system
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it's the brain system you know this is this is the master control mechanism for
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the biofor and for the form life everything about the way in which your brain operates conditions the way
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in which your life is going to be the quality in that sense of you physically in your life and it's going to lay the
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foundation for what kind of a mind you can have because your mind is never independent of the infrastructure it is
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the brain that is going to determine the potential of the Mind itself so when
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we're looking at the design on Earth and we are looking at the brain system we're looking at you and we're looking at a
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right brain so the first thing to understand about your brain system is that it is
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not strategic it is not an active Principle as a matter of fact it is a
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brain system that is designed to be passive and what that passive means is
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that you are designed to take in an enormous amount of information this is
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what you do this is the natural state of your brain system it takes in an
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enormous amount of information but it also creates a deep stress Dynamic and
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the stress Dynamic for you will always be the same that is you have strategic
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Minds on the personality side and the Strategic mind is who you think you are
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it's personality and your designed brain system that you have no conscious access
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to that's where the secret is so the first thing to understand about the way
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in which awareness emerges in you is that awar Ness emerges through who takes
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it out your wells it's what the right brain is the right brain is a well that gets
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filled up the whole dilemma for those that are right brained is the determination to try to be
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focused you know the determination to put the mind at work at one thing you know get the Mind honed into it but the
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moment your brain is trying to focus it is so unhealthy for you because that's
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not what it does does what it does is it has an enormous sensitivity to take in
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frequency it doesn't just take in information I have a strategic brain I
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take only certain things in and only certain things that are to the advantage of my strategic process you're taking in
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everything you're not just taking in the presence of me my voice the information
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you're taking in the frequency of the environment you're taking in frequencies
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that most people are not even sensitive to electromagnetic frequencies the frequencies of the machine in this room
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are going into you deeper than they are going into me in other words there are all kinds of frequencies that you're
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deeply sensitive to that you're taking in you know it's like being a Hoover you
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know you know one of these vacuum cleaners you know this is really what it's like it's a vacuum cleaner brain
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you know it just goes and there's nothing nothing there that's paying
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attention you know this is the magic I mean it's not like you have to be concerned all right what are we
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vacuuming up it's not the point you know in the moment that becomes the point you
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lose everything you lose the real wisdom that's there I mean the thing that happens to people who have a right brain
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and have a a left mind is that they have to read the same thing over again and
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over again and over again to think that they remember it you know know it's like there's not being sure that it's there
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being uncomfortable that oh my goodness I thought I took that in you know and I
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mean the thing to understand is if you go looking you're going to create stress
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your right brain is going to be screaming what do you want from me I'm a Hoover you know I just take in don't go
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looking in here let somebody else pull it out because that's what it's about
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the whole thing about awareness in your life is not about you being able to
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dwell in your awareness you know it's a it's a lovely joke you know it's about
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you being able to enjoy your awareness when the right Force pulls it out it's
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about the other it's about the forces that will pull that out it's about understanding that you're carrying more
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than you can ever know more than ever will be released
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see everything about our evolutionary process is to get to a place where the communion of Consciousness is more
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important than the communion of bodies you know it's about awareness it's about
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awareness in order to be able to have that kind of communion you have to have those beings
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on this plane that can commune with anyone that's
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you that's what the right brain is because it can take in so much in the
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experience it can provide the other whatever little Nuance they happen to be
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looking for it is the gift that's there in the right brain but the thing that they're looking for the thing that they
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can get from you isn't necessarily of any value to you it's not like you
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needed to focus on it or make that your thing or whatever the case may be it's
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about understanding that every experience you have is an experience
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that is well twofold there's a
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surface and the surface is an illusion and everything around that surface is
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where you're taking in all of your
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depth when you think about it one of the most important things for
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you is to realize that what you are doing in the moment is never the
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thing it's never the thing you know because what you're doing in the moment is where you're putting your mind this
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strategic mind focusing on what you think you're getting in the moment like
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in this experience and it's so important to understand that's not what you're
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about it isn't because you see you're taking in much much more than going on
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here you know this is this is much more than just the simple delivery of the formulas
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that I'm giving you you're taking in an enormous amount of information but if you're focusing yourself if you're
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focusing your brain to try to grasp what this is this little piece that I'm doing
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you're missing the whole other thing you're going to get this anyway you're going to get it anyway I
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mean the secret to beings like you is to understand that if you're paying attention in the moment you take in
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everything so if you're not paying attention you're killing yourself you know you got to pay attention it's the
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whole thing about having a right brain if you're attentive in the moment in any experience with the other with the thing
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with whatever it may be that's when you're taking in all the information and it's the only time that
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you're going to begin to get to that place in your life where you can truly love what you are as a being is when you
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understand how deep you are see what I discover here in my whole
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process with variable all these years working with it over and over again I see the same story I see that we've got
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a whole generation of beings half of the planet basically to one degree or another that are here to be resources
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resources and if they don't know that if their brains are being focused if
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they're under stress if they're trying to master the single thing whatever that happens to be we lose all of that
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resource and they lose the opportunity to be able to display their their wisdom
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their awareness to the other but you see we're not used to that
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this not the way we've been raised you know the Assumption when somebody is looking at you is that
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you're taking in what you're taking in in terms of what they think you're taking in you know they look at the
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interaction and they think this is what you're taking in this is not what you're taking
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in you know this is the magic to understand about your brain system it's
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a thing to understand about feeling about yourself the way you need to
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because you see I have one reaction physically to this variable and it's
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what I notice Whenever there is a multiple of right you know when there's more right than left in the
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configuration it is just a falling in I could fall into all of you I mean that's
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exactly what it feels like it feels like you know this this is a variable that will take you in and embrace you you can
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feel it I mean I can feel it from the outside in the comparisons with others and the thing to recogniz is that that's
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the beginning of you being able to see what is your cognitive role you don't have to worry about what
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you've taken in you only have to pay attention to who wants it and what they
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want you know because in watching what they want you get to learn a great deal
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you get to discover your own depth you get to discover your own wisdom how rich it is how varied it is how it covers so
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many things how in fact that if you're in the right environment with the right
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beings you will absolutely blow your own mind because it's all there it's all
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there most people who are right because they've been raised strategically they've been raised left in in strategic
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schooling with strategic parents who are into strategic trips you know goes on and on and on and
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on you know with the right brain system you've been forced to focus on things
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it's robbed you of your power it's robbed you of your wisdom and it creates metabolism
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problems everything having to do with the brain system you know you
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have a passive brain which means that the brain itself is just there to take in nothing else it's not there to be
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active in breaking things down and doing things with them and of course the
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moment you put that pressure on your brain brain uses energy the energy makes demands on the vehicle you start putting
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more into your body in order to compensate for the incorrect activity of
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the brain system and you end up feeding yourself in an incorrect way which adds to the homogeneization of your brain I
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mean it you know in design when we look at the sun earth on the design side this
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is the core of primary health system this is you know this is where the PHS dietary regimen is the right brain has
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been deeply homogenized and conditioned in order to be able to amarate that
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there there are only two things you can do one is you follow your strategy and authority and the second thing is that
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you eat correctly I mean it is this eating correctly that is so important every
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single aspect of cognition is rooted in you being perfected as a differentiated
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being it's not about you being homogenized eating correctly is an extraordinary thing you know because
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what you are doing is that you know you're getting rid of Fat Brain you know you're getting rid of all this stuff you
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take in that's feeding all the wrong areas of your brain system you know so you end up just being a homogenized
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brain it's not the way it's supposed to be and the moment that you follow your dietary regimen because after all it is
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yours there not anybody else's you know it's your regimen the moment that you
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can the moment that that's correct for you you're going to take an enormous amount of pressure off your brain
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system and it's very very important look one of the first things to understand
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about who you are is that you're the laidback variable
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you know I mean you are the laidback variable I mean people should often have
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to check your pulse to make sure that you're there okay it's very very
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important for you to see that those people who crank you up and get you moving and all of that stuff boy are
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they dangerous because that's not what you're about it isn't I mean the whole thing
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about rightness is that rightness is like finally you know I mean the left is
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always oh God there's so many things we have to do you know we have to kill and
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we have to win and you know all that stuff and the right sits back and say hey this is very nice I I I'm going
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to put my feet up I'm going to relax I'm going to take it all in you're not defined by what you
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do you know if you're sitting there and you're staring and it's a lovely stare
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you know and everybody else is running around and you know doing all their stuff don't feel guilty don't let them
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lay a trip on you because the reality is that this is when you're at your
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best when you go to the the design nodes you know you get to environment
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environment everybody as everybody has a unique dietary regimen everybody has a unique digestive system everybody has a
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unique unique environment and that unique environment is really incredible because when you're looking at the nodes
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you're looking at your life this is really your life your brain is how you live in that life you know you know your
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your mind is how you interpret it but the life is right there in the nodes so the moment that you're looking at your
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noal line it tells you everything you see you have an all right story line in
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other words you have a brand new life it's a very very different kind of life
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it's very different from those that came before it is the First full you know
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flurish of the right life and so you have to see that this is very very
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different from what it would be to have strategic left nodes those with the
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Strategic left nodes you know they've got their thing they have to do and you
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have nothing to do but to be that's the hardest
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job it's the hardest job because the most difficult thing for a right being
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to do is to relax in a left world because there's all this pressure
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I mean there's all this pressure it's something to understand about the
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quality of your passivity this is there to mask an
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extraordinary depth you know it is something to really understand about it this is what the
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right life is about I mean the right life is about taking in taking in taking
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in see we have an evolutionary process that's taking place
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2027 we have a transformation that's taking place in the solar plex system we have a new kind of variation coming into
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the world what will ultimately be the real rights everything about them is about
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giving up the self everything about the Rave is about giving up the self being a resource for
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something larger something greater and we're human we're not Raves but you're carrying the right life
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you're carrying this I I am here to take in so that there are those that can draw
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upon that it's what you're here for which means your communion with the other your relationship with the other
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is Paramount in your life it's more important than anything else because it's these beings that are the ones it's
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not that they are taking from you please understand what they take from you is the way you display your
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awareness you know if they're not very intelligent and they want to talk about the best TV commercials that's what's
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going to come out of your awareness do you know what I mean in other words the way your awareness is going to emerge in
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the world is who you commune with because they're the ones that are going to draw on
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it and so it becomes some something that's absolutely essential to understand is what is your fundamental
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relationship to the other it goes back to basic things strategy and Authority it goes back to understanding that you
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cannot afford to have the wrong people take from you because they are going to
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draw out of you aspects of your awareness in which you are going to find yourself that way see look you can't go
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inside and see how aware you are you know the gods are cruel eh I
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mean I have a totally unconscious mind so I know the movie I can't go in here I don't know what the hell's going on in there so you have to
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trust you can't know what kind of depth is in there which means that when things
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come out this is how you're measuring yourself so if you're not dealing with
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the right beings in your life that quality that is going to come out how
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you're going to see yourself isn't going to be very satisfying it's not and
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you're going to think that's you and you're think that's your limitation I mean there's about 400 million people
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have your variable eh I mean think about that you know 7 billion on the planet broken down by 16 blah blah blah now if
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you think about most of those beings they're in real trouble because you're not allow to be
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laidback you know you have to have a purpose you have to have a goal you have to know how to get there you have to
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have all the training you got to all that stuff you know you just can't take
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it all in and more more than that whoever is around you defines how intelligent you're going to
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be so think about you know the 200 million that are going to be raised in
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unbelievable poverty and you know lack of education and all of these things and
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you begin to see the incredible limitation that you have this incredible depth of awareness potential in a being
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and it cannot be drawn out it can't you can actually go through your whole life
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thinking that you're really deeply Limited and you're not and you can't prove it yourself you
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can only see it see it as a byproduct of your relationship to the other that's
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the thing that's so fascinating you know it's the thing that defines you as a matter of fact it's
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bizarre in a way because you you're a variable that can Define its intellectual level through its
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relationships you know I mean you will rise or fall to whatever's there
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you will accommodate whatever is there if the lowest forces are there you will
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accommodate them beware because you can because there's no other way for you to be all you can be is be a
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resource so you have to be very careful about who you share that with and remember if you're a resource boy do you
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get something in return I mean you know it's not something that
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you give away for free I mean nothing's for
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free it it is in an exchange with the other you carry the awareness you carry
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the wealth of information by being Passive by being laidback by allowing it all to come to
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you that's when it's correct that's when you get your reward see most human
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beings who carry a lot of less they can only Define their lives through what they
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do it's the only way they can do that you know I mean I it is something so
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important to understand that that's not what you're about it isn't it isn't you
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know it isn't at all you can you can appear to be totally
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uninvolved you know you can appear to be totally in your own trip you know you
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can look like you've actually stepped out and aren't paying any attention and
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there's no such thing with people like you there's no such thing it's always
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going in always always and not only that but what
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happens is you got a right right life so look I the only rightness I have is my
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personality nodes so we share that in common and what I know about that is that you get
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to see what other people don't see you you get to see what other people don't see this thing of you being laid back in
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any situation does not mean that you're not seeing all this stuff you're seeing
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everything not only that you're seeing things you don't want to see you get to see so many things you
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don't want to see because you can't avoid it you have peripheral
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vision peripheral vision it takes in everything and it's not just taking in
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the seeing in this way it's but taking in frequency this is what rightness is
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about it's more than the visual I get more than the visual when I'm looking
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out because that's what rightness does it takes in all kinds of other flavors
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and frequencies but it also means that you're in a situation where seeing
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things that other people don't see often that can make you seem rather crazy to them they can often be very
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uncomfortable when you point out to them something that you thought that they could see too
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but they can't see it all because it is the thing about rightness and of course in most cases they pull it out of you
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which means that you know those situations can be rather uncomfortable until you really understand the way you
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function you see all that you take all of it
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in now the thing about environment is very important it's something to understand if you're not in the right
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environment you're not going to take in the periphery that's for you an environment is something that is
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extraordinarily important I mean in human design when you go down to these levels below the line all we're doing is
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we are fine pointing your differentiation those specifics that make you different environment is an incredible
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thing I mean I I had to pay a a a huge personal price in order to be able to
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grasp how serious a issue environment is my environment is
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Shores and um I'm left so it's natural
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Shores and and I've been very fortunate I was I was born on an island I have lived almost my entire life on an
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island um I don't know when that was about 10 years ago
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um I had to go to the United States uh for for my for for human design for business so I went to live there for a
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couple of years and I landed in Talis New Mexico and um which is uh high mountain
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Plateau at best um within about 3
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weeks my wife and youngest child nearly died um he was born months
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premature um I went bankrupt overnight from the American hospital bills
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um I had uh a complete breakdown in my relationships with the people that i'
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been working with in America um everything just collapsed everything I mean it was one of those
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lessons for me in my life that you know you never forget such a thing that was the only time in my in in in my life
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that I was really settled in a place that there were no Shores I mean there were no Shores so it's something to
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understand about your environment your environment's an incredible thing you know and everybody has a
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specific environment it's not a place after all has nothing to do with place it's an environment but that environment
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is there to be able to nurture your perspective if you're in the right environment what you're doing is you're
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doing for your outside you know what the dietary regimen does for the inside in
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other words you're nourishing yourself that environment on the outside for you in that environment you're naturally
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laid back you know you can always know you're in the wrong environment if you're cranked
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you know because you're not here to be cranked I mean it's the last thing that you need any of you you know you're here
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to really be laidback relaxed you know this is when everybody
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else is rushing towards something you already took it all in so there's no
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need to rush towards it I mean it's a thing to grasp about right
34:28
potential you know somebody trying to figure something out it's like this these drawings you know like looking at
34:34
the graphing of the 16 variables you have already taken that in in such a
34:39
deep way it's deep deep deep inside no it doesn't mean you can go in and
34:45
remember which one was which and it's not about that it does not serve you
34:50
it's the hardest thing about being so right you know is to understand that
34:58
that see you're given this depth of potential awareness not for you
35:04
specifically you're being forced in a sense to fulfill what it is to be us to
35:11
find those pure and beautiful communions those places where as a right
35:17
being that something can be drawn from you that entertains you oh I didn't know I had that in there
35:25
that's nice because it's there but you don't know until it comes out and that
35:31
environment for you is everything because that's what's being nourished what's being nourished is your
35:37
connection to the other if you're in the right environment no other is a negative
35:42
it's not necessarily there the positive but no other is a negative when
35:47
you're in the right environment and without that right environment you don't get that
35:54
perspective because where where you're putting your gift of taking in the periphery how you align yourself in this
36:02
life is so important you know where where you are physically in this life
36:07
says so much about what is there for you to see because it becomes all of the
36:13
substance of what your awareness potential is going to be all right so let's get to your
36:19
problem let's get to this left mind Hey because this is where the circus is
36:26
because you know the left mind is a really strategic busy busy busy busy mind oh I got focus on this and focus on that and
36:34
figure this out and figure that out and all of that stuff you cannot stop your left mind
36:41
from being left that's the first thing the first thing to understand is that
36:46
all that stuff that's going by terrific terrific see I never understood
36:52
it I'm like you I'm I'm left right on the personality side he so I'm just like you on the personality side I could
36:58
never understand why in my life I did so many things I mean I I did many things had many wives had blah blah blah all
37:04
that stuff I went through many careers I mean if I you know as not self when I looked at my life it looked like I was
37:10
really sort of messed up it looked like I was very as far away from stable as anybody
37:15
could be and it never made sense to me all of these things but you see I'm left right so you know I I've been able to
37:22
see all this kind of stuff and the beauty of the left mind is that it can
37:28
focus on each of them yeah focus on each of them concentrate on none Master
37:35
everything I mean that's what I do in human design I focus on everything all these little things all these little
37:41
things you know it's like when I teach you know it's been incredible last four or five years teaching online you know
37:47
every week you know eight nine courses a week on and on and on and on and while
37:52
I'm doing it it's just you know you're you're the space you know explaining each of the components but what's
37:59
actually happening behind the screen you know is the Consciousness grasping huge juxtaposed themes holistic
38:06
themes that rise up out of all of that all of those little thoughts all of those things that you're processing in
38:12
your you know in your left mind none of them are important all of them are you
38:19
know what I mean none of them deserve your absolute Focus because the moment you do that you try to turn on your
38:25
right brain and you make your life uncomfortable and the moment you try to turn on that right brain you start
38:31
cranking up your body system not good for you you know you're not supposed to be
38:38
under pressure mentally you're supposed to be gliding Along on this whole greased right life
38:45
you know just basking as you take it all in it's the mind that gets you trapped
38:52
you can imagine what this is like in the real world out there with a not self mind how distorted this is for these
38:59
beings and how uncomfortable they are in their lives and I mean really truly deeply uncomfortable because you have to
39:05
understand something you can focus on zillions of things zillions
39:11
zillions you'll discover that in fact you can focus on endless numbers of
39:16
things because you take in endless numbers of things if you take any of that seriously you really have a
39:24
problem because you can't because the moment that you take one of them seriously it doesn't mean anything
39:30
that's not the point for you problem with right people who have a left mind is they always think they're looking for
39:36
an answer you know okay I focused on this it's not here I focused on this not here I focus
39:43
on this it's not here and that's not the point that's not what you're doing what you're doing is you're designed to focus
39:50
on things anything everything it doesn't matter
39:55
what it is it doesn't matter whether it's Transcendent or it's as mundane as
40:01
mundane can be the point is none of it's important it's just a
40:07
mechanism what's important is what's happening as an overall now you have to understand that all of this stuff that
40:13
you're processing with that left mind is determined by your relationships who you talk to is who
40:21
talks to you it's the way in which your life the demands on your intellectuality
40:26
the demands on your awareness where's that coming from and you see it all goes back to the
40:31
correctness in this story it's always the same thing it all goes back to you know if you're operating correctly you
40:37
align yourself to a geometry that is going to work for you that is going to reduce the resistance in reducing that
40:43
resistance you have to see look I can feel
40:50
tension right I have three open Motors so I can feel anything now there
40:55
shouldn't be any tension here and I don't mean to say should in the sense that you know the point is to be right
41:02
is to be without tension I mean to be right is to be without tension to be left like me is to
41:08
be tense as hell you know I am I'm tense as hell you know it's like these people
41:14
who say you know would you like a massage for a trade in the early years you know and I'd say no I like being
41:19
tense you know this is who I am you know I like it that way I mean uh you want to soften this up it'll probably fall down
41:26
and turn into little bits of d you know you're here to be
41:31
relaxed you see the the tension has to leave your frame and the only thing that
41:38
will crank up that attention is the mind and it will only do so when any of those
41:43
focuses become the thing you know you're here to have what I refer to because I'm
41:49
doing all the Left Right personalities with the different design variations in this in this row and for all of those
41:55
that have the same thing you know this this this left mind and and and the the right
42:03
perspective everything what I what I see about it more than anything else is the the pleasure to Simply
42:12
process Concepts you know this is what it's about the pleasure of processing
42:18
Concepts and the moment that you can see that this is where you're at your best you know it's just where you're at your
42:25
best it's not about taking them seriously you know this is where people really get messed up it isn't you know
42:33
any one of those things can become the thing that you know sinks the ship and
42:38
for most people that's exactly what happens to them you know and all of us go through that you know that this is a
42:45
this is a commonality of this kind of personality you know this assumption that it's looking for
42:52
the and you're not you have everything if you surrender to what is
42:59
your right life you have a right life this is what the notes say let's say I
43:04
have a right life it says that you're here to really be able to sit back and
43:10
let life embrace you it's a funny thing you
43:16
know the seven centered being was so addicted to surrender as a concept you
43:23
know they had all these these Masters and gurus that were always trying trying to get them to grasp surrender and none
43:29
of them could grasp surrender I don't know what the hell it meant what you get to see in design is
43:36
that that is where for the first time you can in a sense Define surrender for somebody you
43:45
can say to them look if your mind is not making your decisions you've surrendered to your body this is the first thing it is the
43:53
thing that is the most important see this is the whole dilemma that we have with mind and you are the
43:59
ones that can be the absolute victim of this right I have to see that the only
44:05
thing that holds you to Distortion is your left mind you know it's the thing that's
44:11
keeping you locked into this frequency of the intensity of you know the focus
44:17
and the fears and all of the things that comes with the Strategic
44:22
mind and you see if you allow your mind to dictate your life that's going to go flowing through your body because that's
44:30
what it does and you put all that tension into your body and when you put the tension into your body you affect
44:37
your metabolism you affect the way in which you can take in all of these
44:42
frequencies that are there see I don't know how many people
44:47
are really interested in Awareness I mean adult I know a lot of
44:53
people are interested in having a better life you know you follow follow your strategy and Authority you get a better
44:59
life but awareness awareness really brings uh demand that you surrender to
45:05
your nature this is as close as I get to being able to give the components of the
45:13
natural order their their defining Spirit your defining spirit is the
45:20
recognition that as you relax into life
45:25
you enrich everyone who comes near you and that's really the beauty of what you
45:30
are as beings it is only when you can surrender to this life that you have
45:36
something to offer it's only then that there are those that absolutely will be there for you that will draw from you
45:44
what will make you feel the pleasure of your own process you know you're defined
45:50
through your relationship to the other it is such a great key and yet you have
45:55
to surrender to this life that means you have to confront the fears of your strategic mind the
46:02
Strategic mind that says you you can't lie down now get up get up get up get
46:07
get get up you know and it's not about that it's about understanding that
46:14
awareness for you has you know this this comes when you are most into your
46:20
signature you know the satisfied generator is an aware being I tell you
46:26
you know you know the peaceful manifestor this is a beautiful quality of awareness you know the projector in
46:33
its success this is awareness I mean these are this is what we're all about it's only when you surrender to what you
46:40
are you know that you get the rewards that are there and this this this reward is
46:46
extraordinary because you see I I don't think at this point in the development
46:52
of the knowledge that there are too many beings who know this who are right who truly
46:58
understand and have been filled with the spirit of what it means to have a right
47:05
design you have a right design you are absorbers you have so
47:11
much in that sense that is available for others for those of you that have an undefined ego this is so bitterly
47:20
painful you know you want to prove yourself you want to be able to show you know the typical human thing you know
47:27
you want to be able to prove to everybody how much you've got and where you're at and what you know and yeah yeah yeah all that stuff and this is not
47:34
what you're about it can't be what you're about see anybody who is going to
47:39
be able to drink from your well of wisdom is going to come to you because they recognize it's
47:46
there you know you don't have to tell them anything you know it's the magic of that
47:52
quality of you know the secret life you know
47:57
where nobody really sees what's going on there's great hidden magic in the right
48:03
it's only now that I begin to understand how deep that is so you know your real
48:09
challenge in all of this is is to surrender to a life that is
48:18
not yeah challenged by pressure all that pressure to be active all that pressure
48:25
to be to be something that you're not and also to take the pressure off
48:30
yourself you know to to have such a variable is never ever ever to be able
48:37
to look within and to be able to say it's all there you can't you can't but
48:44
it's all there you know and this is something that you can only see as you become clear as beings as you operate
48:52
more cleanly in this life more and more of your interactions are going to draw this out of you you'll see that it's
48:58
there the great key is pay attention in the moment you know and then you miss
49:04
nothing if you're not paying attention you know you miss everything all right to those of you at
49:12
home I hope you enjoyed uh your variable and uh I hope you've been very
49:18
relaxed at home gu that must have been nice and cozy and sweet for you you got
49:23
to take that all in but anyway thank you for for uh joining us today and thank all of you that was really nice and bye
49:31
for now put aside put
49:37
aside that old
49:42
bagage and know you're [Music]
49:51
disbelieving
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August 03, 2025
And me, as i am learning me/ my life, excited and naked in spirit

I'm letting it all go🥰🥰🥰😚😚😚😚😄😄😄😄😃😃🤫🤫😉😉😙👍🤗💋🫡🥰🌞😂💫😁😀😁😋🥲🥲🐻😬🫠⛱️🏖️🏖️❤️😀😭🫥🥰🤤🙂‍↔️🐢💫🐬🤗🤗👍🌊😙🐺✨🌅✨😉🥱😚😔🤫😗😄😃😙😚😗😆😗🥰😉🤩🥳😃🥳

00:00:47
August 03, 2025
Todays impression of the mutation and support of my yin by life!🥰🌞✨😘🫡🤗❤️❤️❤️❤️🌅🥰🌞💫🙂‍↔️🐢🏖️❤️😀💋😘💋🐬🫡⛱️😬😀😁🫡🌊🤗💋🐬⛱️😬😋😋😘✨🐺😍😙👍🫠🥲🐻🥲🤫😔🥱😚🌅😉🌅😉
00:00:22
June 24, 2025
Mother daughter day for my personality birthday🥳💋
00:00:26
April 10, 2024
Velo Freeze four to Mighty A...

Mighty Peppermint 4, ofc...
🤣

Velo Freeze four to Mighty A...
September 11, 2025
How do you work out shit when you cannot talk to anybody about it (i.e. have an undefined throat and nobody asks you?)

You don't
Chemistry?(Sp. Authority or/and Cognition) U feel it, let it go, come back to it, come clean

U got yourself a cutleryset for a steal of 130,-€. Instead of 278,-€?

Damn !!
Yup.
U got it.
Congrats
Pat xourself on the back for it was correct :)🙂🫡

If not, u accept that you got it anyways

Stop doubting you can't process this without anybody else to talk to

Soundboarding is great yes

But u do this before a decision
So if you wanna celebrate?
Do it alone
2nd line is being seen??
Go pal!
Run what you know :))
(I do, just now)

Am extremely happy.
And relieved to finally have some cuttlery i like and long term care to use

Also to throw out the garbage i bout about 4 months ago.... Damn

What the shit

Now i got WMF to be :))

September 10, 2025
love love
September 10, 2025
March 07, 2025
party care and nourishment of the sacral
no need or thought about initiating yourself ;)

people think u have it overflowing
people want it
you dont have to give it to anybody
they have to respect you- for your decision
caus they dont want you to leave them

you´re attractive
and they want you to use it for their good
they want you to use it all for themselves
they cannot care
for how you are after you leave their aura 
because they don´t get it
(example of my live: my boss almost fired me yesterday because i asked for vaccation and he goes yeah- how are you exhausted you only work 24 hours, if this doesnt work for you then we need to find an arrangement; now he is an emotional baby, a guilttripper and just ignorant- not everybody is that extreme)

but that doesnt mean you have to initiate or proof anything afterwards either.- you can just generate a life for you that makes you satisfied
and regardless of how doom and gloom your surrounding is changing when you stop pleasing them with your sacral
caus they still want it
all for them
they think they need it
obsessively

some-things are just to be accepted and brushed away- yes to their face- don´t care once they left
you can still deflect- with actions, words, looks, close proximity
you are a generator (if you are- sorry to those who aren´t)
you can unvelop shit- and still envelop shit and still let people go their way with you.
and now you are probably exhausted from reading this- so let me help you recharge a little too maybe.:

your responsibility is you- your energydiluting sacral
the world is energy- and you can respond to it
on many fractured or unfractured levels
it´s not only that 
energies can vary wildly
you just and only have the obligation to refill yourself- your lifes experience- your satisfaction/frustrationrate to fulfill your trajectory ofc- if that´s what you want

you are not a pressmachine
you do not have to sacrifice yourself 
you do not have to sacrifice other enrgies to this life to make it somewhat comfortable here.
you do not have to proof yourself to the incompetence of these surroundings or others
you are you- acknowledge that this is a good thing to acknowledge- for you found who you are.

now step two of recharging is 
not making their need you inevitability
just don´t 
they wanna run up against walls?
yes!
go!
let them do it until they ASK you for help- or until (in my 4/6 way can redirect them to somebody that knows) ....., in response!

you are not julia of hellraiser- levithian, you have no other god to atrribute and gain something other than -your-self-you-life
you dont have to watch them
you dont have to reach out for them
you dont have to think about them and neither be attached to them or their actions
regardless of how kicking and screaming they might appear to you- is this how you go out? okay- how beautiful to remember a satisfied life---? istn´t this thrilling?=D
i guess so =)

so no mental argument for intercepting with them any more unless correct (motivation or whatever resonated)
you have your energy for your life
and - thus following thru on not helping and rushing to other people you suddenly found detachment 
AND thus- didn´t let your energy go berserk in multiple directions that you didn´t care for.
bless your heart, you noticed.

arguably there would now be a step 3 but to me it often shows that it can be either or so i´mma call it the completion of recharging
so recharging is nurishing yourself. 
and this feels really nurishing to me to let all my wisdom go- to not have to ever be asked but see my smarts- to know if people would want to get it from me- they can sign on here and search and maybe find what they are looking for 
i guess its like the peace my mom experienced when i came to help her move and or- when my boyfriend had the surprisingly best summer ever or when my sibling learnt that depression is not the answer to life- and that letting go of surpressing the sacral is (imho that happened - at least i saw it move out of her body when we moved my mom as i passed by her, which curious if she remembers sitting in the vw crafters sideentry and me walking out of the appartememnts groundfloordoor and our uncle being in the back side of the van lifting some shit- curious to see her reaction if she has one:D/ ever gets to see this;))
so long story short, rejuvenating yourself and your access to that earthly wonderfull samsara energy can be reading a book, cooking, eating for that matter, going for a walk, sitting about and doing nothing/ staring at the sun :D ;) (blue ball! not black with rainbows streaming from it- we are alive- now), taking a break watching some series/movie, etc, inactionand action can both be it- i find the best moves for me are dancing when i feel tired- going to eat and then sleeping, as well as connecting to other people that i love and apreciate and wanna see their life develop/unfold with- like a livestream type of deal, so it can also be for you getting a new hobby- or hobbies, or just sitting with yourself for a change, meditating, etc... theres only os much i can write now, caus i´ve been overly caring for others developments as it was juicy and i see that now i am detaching from them and their stuff is helping me relationship with myself again more and clear and loving and soft and definite (without certainty)
be big, be small, trust in your life being the proof of your energy & valuability, ride stinky motorbikes,..

so again:
recognise your juicy godly (caus they believe you must be heaven sent to have this- instead look at themselves or something, they disregard uniqueness)..- self
you got this- you know who you are, you can decide for yourself.
2nd
 watch out for other peoples suckles for your energy
don´t try to walk on eggshells- deflect them, let them go to the bio-bin, right where eggshells have a use (for instance)
anyways .:D
your aura is un- or eveloping, sometimes both
3rd/totality/ our human form summa sumarium
recharge in the ways you like- that recharge you, learn, rest, sleep, follow your s&a with others, be an outer authority, use your cognition with you, be sexy, eat, touch, smell, live a little. and / or more. :D

ps: complete exhaustion can also be thoroughly helpfull at recharging your sacral- certain energies have wild differences in actions and energy use- acknowledge what you need do it all at the right time, your body/ sacral knows this

disclaimer: this is only from me being a sacral generator and having claimed my first vaccation, which my boss wanted to be rejected by force which he couldnt caus i was honest with awareness and communication

and yes- they wanna rule you- so don´t believe them, only your sacral authority.
you gotta experience the right energies for your life, move, adjust, dont give a fuck about their psycho mental & emotional abusestrategies. dont believe them when they say they know better (nn?- hell fuck yes you can get fucked with your "smartass")

thank you very much

Read full Article
March 04, 2025
dr k slays again :D - there is no humps of resistance to overcome
healthy gamer gg on youtube


today we're going to talk a little bit

about Detachment apathy and motivation

and a lot of people like myself will

talk about the value of Detachment right

we'll say that based on all these

spiritual Traditions that you should

detach from the world and as you detach

from stuff you'll be happier you'll be

more content you'll be more free and

sometimes even more productive hey there

thanks for watching and I'm glad these

videos have been helpful a lot of times

I'll read the comments and see people

asking well what do I actually do about

it which is such a great question and

unfortunately my experience has been

that the resources out there aren't

actually that good at helping people

create sustainable change which is why I

started HG in the first place he coaches

are trained on a curriculum that

integrates all of my understanding into

what is motivation what paralyzes Us and

how to create lasting behavioral change

so if you're ready to take the next step

he coaches are ready to build the life

that you want they helped people build

careers find relationships build

networks of friends discover what their

passions are and pursue their Hobbies so

if this sounds like something that you'd

be interested in check out the link in

the description below but a lot of times

that seems really confusing for people

right because if you really think about

it it's your attachment to things that

actually gets you motivated and moving

forward and a lot of people get confused

by this concept of Detachment versus

Detachment vs. Apathy

apathy because if I detach from stuff

doesn't that mean that I stop caring and

caring is the only thing that actually

keeps me going

and a lot of people who will listen to

to people talk about Detachment will

kind of conclude that okay I can't

afford to be detached because if I

become a detached then like I'm gonna

sit around and do nothing in fact this

sort of apathetic nihilistic mentally

checked out stuff is actually what I

struggle with every day what I struggle

with is to find motivation and so today

what we're going to do is explain a

little bit about the difference between

Detachment and apathy and in some ways

how they're almost completely Polar

Opposites and we'll talk a little bit

about the value and explain why

Detachment can be so good and most

importantly we're going to sort of

explain to you all the mechanism behind

which Detachment actually helps people

move forward

so in order to understand this we have

to start with an understanding of how we

normally motivate ourselves

so normally I have some kind of internal

drive and I have some sort of external

resistance so a good example of this is

that let's say I'm ambitious and I want

to accomplish a lot but I hate my job so

this is the sort of situation where I

don't want to work I don't really enjoy

work it's kind of like this barrier that

I have to overcome and what allows me to

overcome the barrier of the boringness

of work the toxicity of work the

diminishing returns that I get from

putting in effort what I have to do to

overcome the negative situation at work

is some amount of ambition and so some

of you all may sort of really wish that

you were more ambitious right because we

see people who are doing the sigma grind

set and they're like super super

ambitious and they will tolerate a ton

of pain and they're like yeah like you

know I'm going to be hardcore and like

yeah like life sucks because you've got

to like be super ambitious and so what

we sort of do is we have this internal

driver that we use to over come the hump

of resistance and then what happens is

there's this little like equation that

goes on in our head right work sucks so

much so that sort of creates a certain

amount of resistance and if I'm

ambitious enough I can overcome the hump

Overcome the hump of disliking work

of disliking work and that actually

leads me to action which then leads me

to benefits like success and money and

promotions and things like that

so this is sort of normally how we

motivate ourselves there's sort of this

internal struggle between the world

sucking out there and me ramping myself

up internally really juicing myself to

overcome those negatives another really

good example of this if we want to step

out outside of work for a second is

loneliness and anxiety

this is something that we deal with a

ton in this community I've helped a ton

of patients with this kind of stuff

where it's like okay so I'm socially

anxious and it's hard for me to make

friends when I go out and I meet people

like oh my God it's like so painful like

I look stupid I sound stupid everyone's

judging me all the time social media

definitely doesn't help that kind of

stuff so what happens is we kind of move

out into the world we get bludgeoned by

our social anxiety and then we retreat

and when we Retreat what starts to build

up a sense of loneliness and so there's

some research that shows that this is

the Loneliest generation in the history

Loneliest generation in the history of humanity

of humanity and so the loneliness builds

and builds and builds and builds and

builds until it overcomes the resistance

from the social anxiety right so here's

this barrier of social anxiety we try to

you know move out into the world and we

get swatted back and then the loneliness

Rises Rises Rises Rises and once the

loneliness surpasses the anxiety Then

we're so desperate that we can't afford

to be anxious anymore and then we start

moving forward

and so if we think a little bit about

what drives us forward in life it's this

thing over here right it's that level of

anxiety it's that feeling of loneliness

it's the desperation of always being

alone

and this is what we sort of think about

as caring because sometimes that stuff

like if that gets too toxic or too

harmful what we end up doing is becoming

apathetic right so like if I don't have

that driver so I have social anxiety

over here and the loneliness is building

up over here but if I become apathetic

if I mentally check out at work if I

sort of numb myself from the loneliness

that's really what apathy is I stop

caring about life and then I'm kind of

stuck

and so that's usually how we work right

because if we're apathetic we're not

doing anything and the only thing that

we can use to overcome that hump is

actually caring a lot the more I care

about my job the more that I care about

not being alone anymore the more I'm

actually going to motivate myself

forward

but this is not really like a healthy or

sustainable way to live life right in

the case of ambition it results in

Burnout and in the case of like you know

loneliness like it's it's so terrible I

mean hopefully you all don't know but

unfortunately chances are many of you do

that the struggle between loneliness

saying anxiety sucks like no matter how

you cut it even if the loneliness Rises

to the point where you move out into the

world it's still a painful experience

and so what a lot of people will think

is that okay like I can't afford to give

up my attachments I can't afford to give

up the loneliness I can't afford to give

up the the ambition because then how am

I going to do anything

and this is where Detachment enters the

picture

because Detachment is not about

detaching from the world it's actually

about detaching from yourself

so when we really think about what

Detachment is so like here's the world

down here and here's us up here

and we kind of sit in the middle and I

know that sounds kind of weird what do I

mean by that so we kind of sit over here

and what we think Detachment means that

we think it means removing ourselves

from the world right like I'm gonna stop

caring about stuff but if you really

look at it what Detachment truly means

is removal from our own ego so when we

remove ourselves from our ego that's

when we actually become detached now

what does that mean

so I'll give you all kind of a simple

example let's say I want to dance at a

party so I'm hearing the music the music

is fantastic I really really feel like

dancing

what is it that keeps me from dancing

because I can hear the music I want to

move maybe I don't know how to dance but

who the hell cares right generally

speaking people who like dancing to

music don't care if they know how to

dance or don't know how to dance you can

still dance to the music and enjoy it

but what is it that keeps you from

enjoying that moment in the world it's

not the world itself it's your own ego

it's this idea that oh my God if I start

dancing I will look stupid because I

don't know how to dance people will

think I'm an idiot people it's going to

be so embarrassing what will people

think so in that moment there you are

existing in the world and you have

something in the world that you want to

do that you really want to do that you

crave doing that you are jealous when

you see other people who are able to do

it and you're unable to do it and what

is it that keeps you from doing it it's

not actually the world it's not because

the music sucks the music is fantastic

what keeps you from doing it is actually

your attachment to your own ego so this

Your attachment to your own ego

is the thing that's really really

important to understand when we're

talking about detaching we're not moving

away from the world towards ourselves

we're actually moving away from

ourselves and actually towards the world

and this is why people who are eight are

detached are able to dance like there

ain't no tomorrow they're able to

actually live life to the fullest if

they go to karaoke they can just sing

karaoke and not worry about what other

people think imagine what would happen

if you went to a party and you didn't

care what other people thought because

if you really tunnel down into it what

is it that when we say care what other

people think what aspect of other

people's thoughts do you actually care

about you care about their opinion of

you their opinion of you is attached to

your ego in the way that you're viewed

right when a narcissistic person has a

big ego what does that mean that means

that everyone needs to think positively

about the narcissistic person

so this is the key thing to understand

that Detachment and apathy and we'll get

into this a little bit more in a second

or actually complete opposites and what

we're not removing ourselves from the

world what we're actually doing is

moving more into the world and removing

ourselves from ourselves

so what does that mean in terms of that

motivation kind of diagram that we were

thinking about right because here's my

ambition here's my feeling of loneliness

and then there's the resistance that I

encounter so that resistance is things

like oh my God what will people think or

I dislike my job and so if we look at

that resistance that keeps us from

moving forward in life that resistance

is usually composed of emotions and ego

and so what a Detachment actually does

is it lowers that resistance and the

beautiful thing is that once we lower

the resistance once there is no hump to

overcome then we can be driven forward

by all kinds of things we no longer need

ambition to act we no longer need that

loneliness to move out and engage with

people and that may sound a little bit

weird but let's like tunnel down into

that so what Detachment actually does is

lowers that resistance and how does it

do that because let's go back to the

social example I'm really lonely and I

have social anxiety so let's tunnel down

into okay what is social anxiety social

What is social anxiety?

anxiety is the concern of what other

people think about you right that's what

social anxiety is I'm worried what other

people are going to think now if I

stopped worrying what other people

thought that would be freeing that would

be amazing in the most important thing

is that if I stopped caring what other

people thought I don't need loneliness

to drive me to engage with other people

I can engage with other people through

all kinds of other things like hey that

person likes something that I like that

can drive me to form a connection with

them

what about the work scenario right

because in work but I genuinely hate the

work so this is where you got to stop

for a second and you really got to think

why do you hate the work so if you

really talk to people and we do this a

lot for example through career coaching

we worked with hundreds of people now

and we understand why people hate their

jobs a lot of times the reason that

people hate their jobs is because

they're not recognized in their jobs the

effort that they put in is not

appreciated that they have trouble

advocating for themselves and people are

playing politics

sometimes it's because the job is really

really really boring and even in those

cases why don't those people quit those

jobs well because they're afraid of the

consequences of quitting a job what if I

don't find another job what if people

won't hire me somewhere else so even if

you look at each of those scenarios

about why we hate the job what we

actually discover is that it's not the

job itself that actually keeps you stuck

it's all of your attachments related to

the job it's wanting to be appreciated

by your boss wanting to be recognized

wanting to be respected by your peers

which by the way is what leads you to

work extra hard to get that recognition

so any way you cut it what you really

discover is that attachment and ego are

really the things that kind of hold us

back in life and since we're so attached

to the opinions of others we have to

start to use these dirty fuels these

toxic motivators like ambition and

loneliness to actually move us forward

and then we get kind of stuck because we

believe that Detachment means getting

rid of our ambition or getting rid of

our loneliness whereas that's not

actually what we're saying at all we're

not saying that you're getting rid of

either of those what we're saying is

that Detachment lowers the resistance

Detachment lowers the resistance

and so hopefully this is kind of making

sense and I want you all to just think a

little bit about what would life be like

if there was no resistance to what you

wanted to do if you had a particular

desire and your ego didn't say hey

that's going to make you look stupid or

you weren't operating out of like fear

of consequences or things like that what

would your life actually be like and

this is where a lot of people think well

don't I need ambition or loneliness to

motivate me no because once the the

resistance drops down to zero then all

kinds of stuff can motivate you interest

in particular things curiosity all kinds

of stuff actually naturally starts

motivating you why aren't you motivated

Enough by those things right now because

curiosity is not enough to overcome the

ego

right you can be curious about learning

how to dance and hey like you go to a

party and you're like hey like let me

like learn how to dance right let me be

curious about this that's beautiful but

the problem is that that curiosity is

not enough to overcome the ego which is

why you don't live a life that is driven

by curiosity you live a life that's

driven by loneliness or ambition

and so this is the beauty of Detachment

because it lowers that resistance it

separates us from the ego and it

actually starts allowing us to live a

life that's based on things like

curiosity and interest as opposed to

like desperation loneliness or ambition

and so hopefully now you're kind of

thinking okay so like this sounds pretty

cool like lowering that resistance seems

pretty neat so then the question

naturally becomes how do we cultivate

detachment

and so now what we're going to talk

about is sanskrit phrase called vairagya

so virage is the Sanskrit word for

detachment and there are certain ways

that we cultivate Detachment and the

most important way that we cultivate

Detachment is actually through awareness

so this may sound kind of confusing

because in the west especially we have

this idea that the way to get better in

life is to do more stuff right like

people who succeed are doing more stuff

than people who don't if you want to get

ahead you have to network more you got

to play politics you got to update your

profile on LinkedIn the more you do the

more you get right and this is something

that a lot of like success influencers

and sigma grind set folks are like work

harder like have your hustle and have

your side hustle and have your side side

hustle in your mini side hustle and like

right you got to do more to get more

even at work right people will say like

it's the go-getters who get promoted and

so this is the really bizarre thing but

that's actually not how it works and if

you talk to people who are lonely or are

ambitious what you'll find is that they

exert a lot of effort right so even if

you're someone or you maybe have a

friend who's like stuck at home and

struggles with anxiety if you actually

ask that person how much effort are you

exerting

they may be like self-judgmental and

they'll say oh I don't do anything but

if you actually look at the struggle of

their day-to-day life it's actually

really hard right because even going out

Going out is like climbing a mountain

is like climbing a mountain these little

things that are easy for other people

require so much effort from the person

who is more attached who is more engaged

with their ego

so this is where it's kind of bizarre

but the source of iraqia the most

important source of Iraq is actually

awareness and what do we mean by that or

how does that work so this is really

simple where awareness precedes control

so if you've ever had dental work done

this is like the classic example that I

use and you're numbed you can't control

anything if you can't feel it you can't

control it right you can also look at

things like let's say people who are

alcoholic and in denial they are unaware

that there is a problem and without

awareness that there's a problem they

can't really fix it but if you talk to

someone who's an alcoholic and is like

going through divorce proceedings and

getting like written up at work the

amount of effort they're putting forward

is actually astronomically High every

single day that they live is a struggle

in a fight and your spouse is arguing

with you your kids are mad at you bosses

are writing you up there is so much

effort but there is no awareness and we

also know that based on evidence-based

treatment of alcoholism what is the

solution the solution is actually

Insight or awareness right and you we

kind of hear it in places like

Alcoholics Anonymous where they start

every meeting with awareness building hi

my name is all Oak and I am an alcoholic

and that is so foundational because once

you understand that they're once you

understand what's going on once you have

awareness of not just the problem but

the whole system then things actually

become effortless

and there's one really good example of

this which is like I don't know if y'all

play video games but like if you're good

at a video game people will look at you

and will say wow that is so amazing

you must work really hard to be good at

the the video game it looks so effortful

but when you're good at a video game you

actually don't expend a whole lot of

effort it's actually easy for you right

but the question is why is it easy for

you because you understand you

understand the mechanics of the game you

understand the meta of the game the more

that you understand the more easy things

become

and this is the key thing about

cultivating Detachment this is what the

Yogi's figured out is that if you want

to live an easy life that is also

happens to be like more productive then

you need to actually start with

awareness because as as long as we are

numb to stuff and as long as we don't

understand how things work it's we can

exert all the effort in the world and

it's going to yield very few returns

and so then the question becomes okay

how do we cultivate this awareness and

this is where there are a couple of

simple answers the first is meditation

and now some of y'all may be listening

to this and thinking okay so so are you

saying just meditate and like sort of

right but I don't want you all to just

meditate what I want you all to

understand is even if you're thinking

okay meditation doesn't work for me I've

tried it a bunch it doesn't help with

these problems you're missing the point

what I want you to understand is why

meditation works why we use meditation

as the key way to develop Detachment

because Yogi's tested all kinds of stuff

and what they settled on is meditation

and why is that it's because meditation

is the practice literally the practice

where we skill up our ability to be

Skill up our ability to be aware

aware so the first thing is you should

meditate and what does that meditation

mean it means just be aware of stuff

the second thing that I strongly

recommend that you do is spend time with

yourself

so if we're talking about awareness a

key thing that we really want to be

aware of is our reactions to stuff

because it is in our reactions to stuff

that we actually find our attachments so

if we go back to dancing at a party what

am I attached to it's going to manifest

in the way that I react when I'm at the

party so if I want to dance and the

music is fantastic and I really want to

dance and then notice the reaction that

you have within yourself and that

reaction will actually give you insight

into the nature of the attachment we

spend so much time trying to overcome

that reaction right we wrestle with

ourselves we try to overcome and Conquer

anxiety that we don't ever spend any

time just sitting there and observing it

and so that's the the problem is that

effort over that anxiety is not going to

ultimately lead to success what's

ultimately going to lead to success is

awareness and so notice your own

reactions to things and in in that sense

spend a little bit more time just with

yourself and the last thing that I want

to share with y'all is a little bit of

how you could be reacting to this video

so I want you all to notice that when I

say hey like spend some time like

noticing things notice your reaction to

things maybe try meditating what is your

reaction to this video right there's a

decent chance that there's a fair number

of y'all that are saying oh my God he's

saying just meditate I've tried that

before it won't work

so that's kind of interesting right so

if you've been following me this far or

thus far hopefully you kind of like kind

of buy what I'm selling in the sense

that we have these driving motivators we

have these resistances and we rely on

jacking up our motivation to overcome

the resistance and wouldn't it be

awesome if we no longer had that

resistance you're like yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah but once I start telling

you okay all you need to do is be aware

then what is your reaction to that it's

like no no no no that's not going to be

enough because I've tried so hard and it

hasn't worked exactly

so stop trying so hard notice your own

intrinsic reaction because chances are

that if you really tunnel down into that

and this is how you want to know how to

build awareness we're going to do it

right now tunnel down into that why are

you so skeptical that this is going to

work if you tunnel down into your

skepticism there's going to be emotion

there right there's going to be fear

what if it doesn't work or it's going to

be frustration and regret I've tried

this before and it didn't work

I don't want to waste my time there's

going to be all kinds of emotions

negative emotions tied to your

resistance

to doing what I'm asking you to do right

because that's what it is it's the

resistance and what is the resistance

it's emotion and anytime there's

negative motion there's ego and so now

we see in this moment

that if you try to push forward you'll

feel that resistance and it'll actually

it's actually telling you don't do it

don't do it don't do it and how do we

actually overcome that notice that

reaction we can do it right now notice

that reaction why is it that I'm so

resistant to trying this why is it that

I'm so resistant to meditating because

I've tried it and it didn't work I've

been burned I've wasted my time I can't

afford to waste time anymore and if you

have those kinds of thoughts what is

that those are attachments right you

can't afford it oh my God the only times

we can't afford things are when we're

attached to things I can't afford to set

boundaries with my boss I can't afford

to rock the boat in my relationship

when you can't afford to do something

that's an attachment

so I know it sounds kind of bizarre but

the truth of the matter is that

Detachment and apathy are actually

complete opposites and it's the fact

that we get confused about that that we

assume that those are the same thing

that we actually try not to cultivate

Detachment because we've started to

build a system of motivation that relies

on attachment to overcome our resistance

that's the only way we can move forward

but if you really want to be free of all

of that crap and be free from the only

motivator being this toxic motivator or

dirty fuel like ambition or loneliness

or desperation then you have to

cultivate Detachment and the beauty is

that cultivating Detachment from your

own ego allows you to actually live more

fully within the world

Read full Article
February 08, 2025
she is so good =))
for the soul
 
I've been in business for 10 years and here are 10 lessons that I've learned in this last year that helped me have my
best year yet so hopefully by the end of this video you can too the first business lesson is that missed
opportunities are not problems we were going to do a book launch for Alex in
the very beginning of 2025 and so over this last year we've just had a tremendous amount of opportunity in all
divisions of the business and so we're ready to do this launch from a like the product is done standpoint but from a
team bandwidth standpoint there is none and when I looked at the cost the cost
of following through with doing that launch is that two other things that are going very well and growing very fast
would suffer because they would use the same resources because those resources were planned to handle this I came to
him and said I think it's best that we push it because could we do it yes at
what cost not one that I'm willing to pay we have a lot of people that are tapped out at this point I would be
toned deaf to put more work on people's plates and so I said this isn't a
problem it's a missed opportunity and it's actually a missed opportunity that if we capitalize on makes our real
problems worse sometimes things don't go according to plan sometimes things go better than according to plan and then
when that happens sometimes it up other plans that you have and the reason for that is because the real problems
that I have in my business are things on the back end of my business but sometimes if you capitalize on all the
opportunities you just stoke the fire of the problem that exists and make it worse I said I never want to make the
same mistake twice that's one thing that I've like kept myself to in my business career and what I recognize is that I
felt very similar to when I had gym launch and Prestige Labs during the conversation I essentially ended up
folding and then what happened was what I was afraid of which is it diluted our resources it diluted my attention and it
was the business that I was the least proud of building because it wasn't done well the frame that I always put myself
under is under what conditions does it make sense to capitalize on this
opportunity it's not about time it's conditions if I can get these 30 people hired then under those conditions it
makes sense to do a book launch if those conditions don't exist then this book launch will actually make our problems worse most companies die from the inside
out bad internal decisions bad internal hiring and firing bad internal culture
the little is what kills a company most companies die by indig gestion not starvation if you only have one
opportunity then all your attention is going to go to that opportunity let's just point to something minute that you would think wouldn't make a lot of money
toothpaste everybody uses toothpaste think about billions of dollars have been made off of toothpaste people might
be like oh but like we're missing out we should have toothbrushes and we should have floss yes but you could also make a
billion dollars off toothpaste and if you're only focused on toothpaste you're probably going to put a lot more effort there and you're probably going to get
there a lot faster and so a lot of people have this imaginary Rush that causes them to cap wise and
opportunities that they're not ready for when you try to force things you try to force conditions rather than allow
conditions to happen it makes it a lot harder to do and so if you're an entrepreneur and you're looking at like
this year I have an opportunity to do something I want you to ask yourself what's the cost of capitalizing that opportunity have I solved my biggest
problem before tackling my biggest opportunity if we solve the problem in our business the opportunity presents
itself now here's the last thing I'll say one habit that I have never let myself get into regret of a missed
opportunity is worse than failing a missed opportunity regret is truly useless and what you're doing is you're
stealing attention from capitalizing on the next opportunity and so if you do say no to an opportunity do it without
regret the next business lesson is that there is no one solution about a year ago we started our Workshop Division and
it started with an absolute boom and so we'd been doing this for about 6 or S months and then for a period of like 2
weeks noticed that there weren't as many people referring other people to the workshop and I was like why would our
Word of Mouth go down I don't understand like why would it get worse not better I remember sitting there thinking and I
was like I think actually what it is is that people habituate to things and when they habituate they start to slip up and
so then I sat in for the next three Workshops the greeters that were supposed to greet people when they
walked in they were not on time and in fact we didn't have as many as we had in the past lunchtime some people were
taking meetings they were with portfolio companies so so they just decided not to show up for lunch so we had less people socializing at lunch goodbye one thing
that I have emphasized is that it's really important to say hello and goodbye to people and people actually were not saying a kind farewell it
wasn't any one thing it was a hundred little things and so as I observe this
we have to go full bore into this I to make sure this is a great experience if it's a bad experience I'd rather not do it when people have a problem they're
trying to solve when something goes wrong when a metric isn't where we want it to say sales are dipping revenue is dipping people are complaining customers
aren't staying whatever it is like what's the one thing and we're searching for some magic answer when it's actually
just 100 golden BBS I explained this concept to my team I explained to them this is 100 golden BBS it's not one
silver bullet and here's all the things that I believe have led to people not telling as many people about this so
what we did is we made sure the greeters were there on time and there were more greeters we made sure everyone was at
lunch we made sure everyone was at the brakes we made sure people said hello goodbye people called people by name
what happened we went back to the same stats we had prior within one Workshop
it wasn't any one thing it was like I think my list was like 11 things that we did everyone had a different reason as
to why something worked or didn't work and you know what that taught me is that every business is built on a thousand
details I think in the beginning we feel like we find silver bullets because we don't know how many bullets left there
are to make something really work once you really get into business you realize like it is all about the details and it
is is everything it's not just marketing and sales it's marketing and sales and Cs and it and operations and HR the
second thing it taught me is that attention to detail is the currency of success in business something I tell my
team is we don't teach Excellence we demonstrate it what I mean by that what you say to them doesn't matter how you
say it to them matters when someone comes in for a workshop are they going to listen to me talk on stage about business if my team can't even say hi at
the door I think not but what I did learn from this last year is the amount of details that go into maintaining
excellence and so if you're looking at your business and you're thinking you know I think I need to change who I
serve I think I need to change my product I think I need to completely redo my price I think you know more often the not it's
not a strategy question it's an execution problem and as you grow execution only gets harder because what
is execution it's not just you doing stuff it's your ability to get tens or
hundreds of other people to do stuff for you so if you're trying to figure out what do I need to do with my business this year and things aren't working like
I beg of you try and fix 11 details before you try and to fix one big
strategy the next business lesson is that most people won't buy in until they see it work it actually goes with the
last lesson I just talked about which is you know we started up this workshops division when I had the idea for doing this I was very certain it would work
and I understand what skills are required and I've also myself put on probably 50 workshops in my career just
in a different business and so I'm thinking this is a no-brainer but my team was like this doesn't make sense
how are we going to do this I spent so much time trying to get everybody to
like my idea and trying to tell me that they think it's a good idea before
hitting go and what I realize is that only a few people will believe it before
they see it more people will believe it after you really try to convince them but most people will not believe in
something and won't buy into something until see it work and I recognize that
this is the case and what I actually don't want is I don't want everyone to agree with me and I don't expect everyone to agree with me I don't expect
everyone to say it's going to work instead what you want is you want people to act as though the idea has a fighting
chance so that you can find out if it actually does most people doubt
something will work until it becomes so obvious that it is impossible to ignore and I was reminded this last year of the
fact that that buy in is impossible to get from 100% of your team people come to me a lot and say like I want my team
to buy in what you actually want is you don't need them to believe it will work you need them to act as though it could
possibly work because if people act as though it will never work then they will not execute 10 out of 10 and then you
don't even know if the idea will work or not you don't need them to believe like you believe that it's going to happen and you shouldn't expect that only a few
people are going to be like that on your team but that shouldn't stop you from taking action this was a really great lesson for me because I had a lot of
people on my team coming to me I'm concerned I don't understand I don't think this is going to work I said I
don't need you to believe it but I do need you to execute as if it has a
fighting chance and that was what I told everyone on my team and ironically after
they saw it work then everybody was very supportive of it they laughed at Galo until they looked through his telescope
so it's like people will laugh at you they will mock you they will tell you your idea won't work the people closest to you will do this that's normal and
honestly if everybody tell you that your idea is going to work then you're probably being lied to and they're probably scared of you I will never
punish somebody or fire somebody for having a different opinion what I won't accept as if somebody doesn't give it a 10 out of 10 shot by not executing
because there's many times where you know somebody that reports to me wants to do something a certain way and I'm like I don't think that's going to work
that way but I support them as if I think it could and then sometimes I'm proven wrong sometimes I'm proven right
either way I don't believe it until I see it the next business lesson is that you want to bet on the job Rocky not on
the horse no matter how fast the horse is sometimes we see a business opportunity that's just so obvious it's
so easy that I'm like there's no way this is not going to work you know what that did is it sort of blinded me to the
fact that I kind of took the founders at face value I didn't dig very hard to
test how much of a Founder fit they were to see that they shared values all these little things that I saw in the
beginning but that I didn't push on became big with those Founders lack of
discipline lack of self-management actually led to them not being able to
grow their business even though the business opportunity is one that is a clear winning shot the founders
inability to manage themselves the founders in ability to discipline themselves got in the way turned what
was like the fastest horse into like this horse with like a limp leg like just trying to cross the finish line a
great leader a great CEO can make an average idea succeed and a poor leader can make even the best idea
fail now if you're looking at hiring people I think this is another area where I've just seen that in the past
I've bet on the horse not the jockey what do I mean by that I actually consider the horse what I'm hiring
people to be their experience rather than if they're a fit for the team I've hired people have been like Allstars at
you know Microsoft and Google and I brought them in for them just to fall flat because they weren't a culture fit
were not a values match but they had this insanely cool experience and so I bet on the experience rather than the
person if in your business right now you're looking at how do I want to set myself up for success in the coming year
no matter what I know it is hard because you can't measure what you have to gain
you only measure what you have to lose in these situations if you're in that situation you're like well I would lose this all this experience this person is
going to bring but you don't know what you have to gain by saying no to this nothing is better than the wrong thing
I'm I'm going to bet on the jockey I'm done betting on horses and if I can't
find a jockey that I like no jockey is better than the wrong jockey the next business lesson I learned when incentives are designed poorly they can
sabotage even the best of businesses and teams one thing that happened for me in this last year is that I think that I
was behind the eightball with a couple of departments in terms of getting incentives in place quickly and so
because of that was that when people don't know how to make more money in their role they want another role and so
what it incentivizes if you don't have what I call like a technical track for performance meaning you don't know how
to pay an individual contributor more for doing better work then they say well I would like to be a manager most people
don't inherently want to be a manager or leader most people just want to make more money or they want to feel like they're improving if people are given a
clear path to improve in the role that they have most people opt for actually just staying in that role making more
money getting a better title improving there but because I got that behind the eightball what I realize is that in a
couple of the Departments what they're incentivized to do is to try and stop doing the work that they are doing as
quickly as possible and start managing people as quickly as possible you create this environment where people feel like
the only way that they can grow in your company is if they move up into management and then you also incentivize
people to stop doing the work that they might be best in the world at then what it does is it creates this like very
contorted culture where it's like people will essentially sacrifice what they want for what they see is rewarded and
so what I saw is that in two departments in my company because people were incentivized to move up in their
management roles being a director to a senior director they were just trying to get more people under them so they could
move up faster and that's because I failed to show people how they could make more money staying where they were
and so what it does if you don't do that is it incentivizes blo in a company it is in that person's best interest to
create a big team because they know if I get these people under me I get to move up into this position that they've
expressed they really want but they don't see a way to do that to move up into that position unless these things occur something that's really difficult
is to incentivize people immediately in the beginning of a business I just put people on salary for the most part I
don't have many incentives as the business within 18 months or 24 months
is at a point where it's more mature I have clear metrics that I know I want to hit and I know the averages for them
then I'm going to say okay I want to tie people to these having metrics that incentivize the behavior that you want
incentives are B based on having Baseline metrics you cannot incentivize people to do better until you know what
average is so one you have to know what you want out of a person or a department two you have to know what average looks
like and what below average and above average are when a business is a year or two years old I have a very hard time
setting incentives that are very specific because metrics tend to change so quickly what was a good close
percentage when you're at month three is probably pretty shitty at month 8 because you gain so much efficiency so
quickly it's like you grow out of a compensation plan very quickly and so how do you stop this you can stop it by
showing people how to make more money without moving up and incentivizing performance not just on moving up in a
company so what that looks like is you have two tracks in a company you can have a management track and you can have
technical tracks most tracks in a company should be technical tracks meaning people can learn how to make
more money in their current role only a few people get put on a management track because it doesn't make sense for a
company to have 17 people going on a management track you don't need 17 managers more management is not always
better no management is actually not better either what I learned is that I need to pay more attention as the
company's growing to making sure I get these things into place faster that reminds me of this quote by Charlie Munger which says show me the incentives
and I will show you the outcome and so if you want the outcome of your business to be one where you have really strong
leaders and you've got really strong individual contributors you need to have a technical track and a management track
the next business lesson that I learned this year is that you have to prioritizing solving personal
constraints before business constraints I had a time about 4 months ago where I
had actually three departments that I thought needed change and there was one that made the most sense to tackle but I
was speaking with one of my friends he asked me this question which prompted me to remember this he said yeah but which
one is the one keeping you up at night and I was like well it's this department he's like well why I'm like well this
person is taking six to seven hours of my week every week because of their emotional needs because of their
coaching needs because of like their dependence on me uh and because of that and then and then underneath that is now
the department has these issues and then this person is relying on me to help solve those issues and like but the thing is that that Department's not a
constraint this Department's a constraint and he said he was like Leila you won't have the power or attention to
solve the real constraint unless you solve your personal constraint and it was just such a good reminder for me because I am really good at putting
others and the business ahead of myself because I look at myself as like I'm a steward of the business I need to do
what's best for it because if I do what's best for the business I protect everybody else sometimes it doesn't look good sometimes it's not something people
are going to like but I know that the goal is that the business does two things survives and succeeds if it does
those two things then I protect my team but the thing that happened is that over time I've gotten more skill and I've
gotten more capacity and so my ability to take on more has gone up and what I recognized this last year is that that's
not always a good thing because what I was saying what is the number one problem in the business I I need to
focus on solving that one and yes there's these things that are bugging the out of me but I'm not going to solve them because this logically makes
the most sense to do to grow the business however if my attention which is arguably the most costly attention in
the business if I'm only able to use 60% of it to solve this problem because 40%
of it is taken by this thing that really personally is frustrating me then I can't even solve the problem in front of
me to the best of my ability because my attention is being sucked and so what what it does is it gives you more power
to solve the business problem once you've solved the problem that you have a personal issue with and so I sharing
that with you because if you're going into this next year and saying like what do I need to solve first sometimes you
got to handle your personal and it doesn't even need to be personal it can be the thing that takes the most attention from you you know for me this
was quote personal because it took so much of my discretionary time you know and that's because I care for the people
in my company I care for the Departments and so if somebody is needing my attention needing my help all the time and there's things going on that maybe
aren't aligned with the culture I want to build that takes my attention and these things are happening in the back of my head yet I have a problem in front
of me it's completely unrelated and so for you that could be a business problem it could be a personal problem think
about whatever that problem is it's just stealing from you your power to actually tackle the number one thing in your
business the reason why I think business is such a great vehicle for personal growth is that if you really want to grow the business you have to tackle the
things that constrain you before the business you know what it really reminds me of is this quote which is the
bottleneck is at the top of the bottle and so you have to free yourself first and the business will follow the next
business lesson is that momentum makes everything better when I first started in business I just fell into it we had
been working really hard for 2 years launching gyms and then suddenly we got product Market fit and things took off
there was no like planning on a whiteboard six-year plan like there was nothing and over my business career what
I learned is that the ideal is that you create a flywheel a flywheel is a system
where all the parts make the whole better and a flywheel creates momentum in a business so if you improve this
piece of the business it makes this piece better as well and for a long time I really wanted to have that in my
business and I didn't have it I tried to create it in gym launch and it just didn't really work as well as I wanted
to and so when I started acquisition. comom my main goal was like how do we create a flywheel in this company so
that we have momentum because if I have different divisions of a company but they don't make each other better then you get less return on your effort so we
have our brand what our brand does is it allows us to get proprietary deal flow
meaning we get access to deals that nobody else gets most of the people that come to us and want to partner with us
they're not looking to sell to another PE firm they're looking to sell to us and if they cannot sell to us and they
don't want to sell so that's proprietary deal flow then getting those companies we share the stories of those companies
we share the wins of those companies and we share all the lessons that we learn through growing those companies which creates more deal flow for us and then
that deal flow we say okay well we can't take all of these into the portfolio because that's not our model and they
don't qualify and so instead what we're going to do is put them into incubation program which is our workshops division
the workshops division creates content it also creates deal flow and so what that looks like is like workshops create
deal flow for portfolios workshops create content for brand brand creates deal flow for portfolio brand creates
deal flow for workshops you see it's the self-fulfilling machine and what happens is that if you design your business this
way then it is inevitable that you succeed an example of this would be like
Fitness think about compound movements so why is it that we want to prioritize like squats you've got bench and you've
got deadlift why are those the core Foundation of working out because these create more momentum they don't just
isolate one body part they actually make all the body parts better so if somebody's trying to grow muscle they're
going to do compound movements they're going to do a lot of volume on those compound movements because they know
that when you do squats you're not just growing your quads you're also growing your glutes and your hamstrings and your
calves same with deadlifts and so what that means is that now if I grow my brand I also grow my portfolio and my
workshops Division and my Ventures Division I don't just grow one thing this year has proven to me that if you
create that flywheel everything gets easier now what does this mean for your business is that as you say hey maybe I
want to add a new product maybe I want to add a new division how does that product or how does that division Vision
grow the others this forces us to be actually strategic and it forces us to create a flywheel effect Jim colins said
this a flywheel is a self-reinforcing loop once it's in motion it is Unstoppable momentum and so if you want
to build momentum in your business if you want to create a flywheel think how can I be strategic when I add a division
or I add a product so that it makes everything better not just one thing the next business lesson is that executives
are rarely let go go for performance I had to part ways this year with a couple of Executives in the company and I said
why did this not work it wasn't that these people were not performing and it wasn't that they were even misaligned with the values it was that for the most
part they were misaligned with the vision or the founders so they were misaligned with where we were going
because values in my opinion are how you get there performance is going to say how fast we're going to get there but where are we going and if somebody on
your team wants to end up somewhere that you don't want to it's really hard to work together because they're just
opposing your vision at all stock misaligned leaders break companies aligned leaders build legacies and so
for me I had a few people that were very close to me that I loved working with that were very high performers that were
really competent but they weren't aligned they were trying to influence me to go to their Vision rather than the
one that I've had for 5 years since I started the company and what that does the lack of unity at the top creates
chaos at the bottom and so their departments bear the brunt of that as do other people in the company because what
they see is that when you're on leadership calls when you're on Executive calls people can tell that there's misalignment and so what I
learned is that misaligned leadership is like having a car with its tires all
pointed in a different direction what happens is it goes nowhere and so if all the leaders at the top are not aligned
the car will not move sometimes that person never had the same vision to begin with OR that that person thought
they could change my vision or that that person developed a different Vision along the way it's kind of like if
you're in a relationship ship with somebody and you're both like we want to have a family and a white picket fence and kids and then like 2 years in
they're like hey I actually want to live in the city and I don't think I want kids and you're like wait what do you
mean we're going to have this house like that's what we've been talking about you can want that and I can want this but
like we can't really be married ultimately misalignment is why it doesn't work with people who are very
competent and also culture fits it's like a marriage with one person wanting the house with the white picket fence
and one person wanting to live in the City and so something that you can ask yourself as you go into the new year is
my leadership team creating alignment or are they creating disunity do I have
leaders or high performers on my team that are culturally aligned but don't want to go the same place I want to go
there's nothing wrong with that but it can't work in the company the next business lesson I learned is that
businesses grow faster than most people can grow in one situation I had a person who was killing it that role got
promoted by the company growing and then that person who was killing it became actually like the biggest bottleneck in
the company and like millions of dollars at stake because of this person's incompetence but what I was really lucky
for is that I did not over tile that person too much and so what I was able to do was to bring somebody in above
them and then that person was able to take that person who had been a star and then turned into like the biggest
struggling person and make them a star again because what they did is they filled in the Gap often times when you over promote somebody or the business
over promotes somebody it's like seven to 10 skills that they're lacking and that could take a year or two years for
them to acquire if the business doesn't have time to wait then you need to make sure that you bring somebody in to bridge the gap in the interim there's a
principle that really extrapolates this out it's called the Peter Principle and what it states is that in a hierarchy
every employee tends to rise to the level of their incompetence meaning they're promoted based on their ability
to do their current job well not on the potential to do the next job job well so
for example say I have somebody who's a controller in my company and then you say you know what you're such a
good controller I'm going to promote you to CFO but the skills to be a CFO are
not the skills to be a controller and so you can take somebody who is a great controller and then make a terrible CFO
and so what happens is that individuals rise to a position where then they're no longer competent and then what that does
is it creates a ceiling of incompetence the business can no longer grow because of the incompetence of the person that
you have put in that role and so you've essentially taken someone who's like a superstar and turned them into like the biggest struggling person in the
organization and then a business is only as strong as its weakest link so if you have six leaders in the organization but
two of them are at their level of incompetence meaning they're not competent for the role they're in those weakest links are the strength of the
organization you start to create this Dynamic too where it's not just you that feels it or the other leaders but it's
other people that are their peers that start to say what's going on why aren't they doing a good job why this why that what happened to me this year is that I
didn't actually promote anybody but my business promoted them because it grew so fast if a company quadruples or
quintuples in a year then the person who was the operations manager at the beginning of the year is not competent
to be it at the end of the year and so that's always why I'm like such a fan of under tiing because then you can bring
somebody in above eventually if the business grows too fast and you don't have to worry about demoting people or letting people go and so if your
business right now you're looking at you're like we're growing really fast I want you to understand that there's two things that could be occurring either
one you promoted People based on the skill that they have in their current role not the skill that they would have to do the next role or your business
grew so fast that your business promoted the people for you and they're no longer competent in that role and so in that
case you have decisions to make which is if you promoted them then you can try to offer them a step back down and position
in some way as a benefit on the other instance if the business promotes somebody in their world
then I think you have a better shot at bringing somebody in a level above them to help bridge the gap because the likelihood is if the business is grown
really fast and they're outgrown for their role you probably do need somebody above them as well over promotion turns
Talent into a liability and a bad fit in a good role is actually worse than no
fit at all so ask yourself this like is the growth of my business outpacing my
team's ability to grow as leaders and if so what can I do to prevent over
promoting people past the point of their ability because the leadership team is the most important team to pay attention
to because leaders multiply themselves if you have an incompetent leader you will get an incompetent team the last
business lesson is that business is personal what I watched over this last year is one of the founders of one of my
companies essentially their personal life was in chaos and they kept telling me that it is not going to affect the
business I didn't believe them because essentially everything that was happening on a personal side started to
seep into the business side this person formed a lot of bad habits they were hanging out with a lot of people who weren't good influence and so what
happened is that we had a business that was growing year-over-year for 4 years and then cut in half because this
person's attention was going towards all this drama and so all these things that
were happening outside took away all their attention that they could have for their business you cannot compartmentalize chaos if your personal
life is in shambles your business will soon be in shambles as well this is a lesson that I've learned for my s and I
feel really fortunate cuz I had a mentor in the beginning and he said your personal life is your business life if you want to be regimented if you want to
be happy in your business life be all of those things in your personal life and so I've always tried to live my life in a way where in order to succeed and
achieve my goals in business I have to actually also achieve those things personally in order to show up in a way
it doesn't create chaos in my business your attention is like a jar of marbles and so if you're drinking you've got
five marbles here if you've got an issue with your mom it's five marbles here if you have a bad marriage it's 10 marbles
here and so everyone looks and they only have five marbles and then they try to grow their business with those five
marbles and then they say why can't I grow my business he says well you got to pick up your marbles from all the places that stealing them get them back the
first thing I did before I started my first business was I said where am I leaving marbles there were some things
that me and Alex hadn't hashed out or agreed upon before we had moved in together and so we had to have those
conversations and so what I did is I picked up all these marbles from all these places I put back to my jar some
people say like how did your business grow so fast I had more marbles than you I picked them all up I'm constantly saying what other areas of my life are
stealing my marbles it's not that you have to say off to everything else in life it's that you have to say how do
I get my marbles back so that they actually give me more marbles rather than take more marbles if you have a
great body in physique you probably feel better when you show up at work if you have a great marriage then you probably feel better when you're going into your
business because you feel supported the point is is that you cannot compartmentalize chaos if your personal
life is a mess it's stealing from your attention to do business if your personal life is in order that will give
you the attention to go into business and just be a Savage the greatest threat to your business is not
your competition it's your unresolved conflict with yourself and other people your personal chaos will always bleed in
to professional Clarity you will not be clearing your business if you have personal chaos surrounding you and so
the question that you want to ask is are the things going on in my personal life affecting my ability to lead and grow my
business and if they are that should be your number one priority right now go figure that out you know a great rule
that Alex and I have always had is like we always have to feel really good about our relationship otherwise we can't show up and like go to war together every day
to like grow this business we would take an hour two hours whatever it took before we showed up for everybody else
because we knew that unresolved personal conflict leads into business
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