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dr k slays again :D - there is no humps of resistance to overcome

healthy gamer gg on youtube

Rae46

March 04, 2025

today we're going to talk a little bit

about Detachment apathy and motivation

and a lot of people like myself will

talk about the value of Detachment right

we'll say that based on all these

spiritual Traditions that you should

detach from the world and as you detach

from stuff you'll be happier you'll be

more content you'll be more free and

sometimes even more productive hey there

thanks for watching and I'm glad these

videos have been helpful a lot of times

I'll read the comments and see people

asking well what do I actually do about

it which is such a great question and

unfortunately my experience has been

that the resources out there aren't

actually that good at helping people

create sustainable change which is why I

started HG in the first place he coaches

are trained on a curriculum that

integrates all of my understanding into

what is motivation what paralyzes Us and

how to create lasting behavioral change

so if you're ready to take the next step

he coaches are ready to build the life

that you want they helped people build

careers find relationships build

networks of friends discover what their

passions are and pursue their Hobbies so

if this sounds like something that you'd

be interested in check out the link in

the description below but a lot of times

that seems really confusing for people

right because if you really think about

it it's your attachment to things that

actually gets you motivated and moving

forward and a lot of people get confused

by this concept of Detachment versus

Detachment vs. Apathy

apathy because if I detach from stuff

doesn't that mean that I stop caring and

caring is the only thing that actually

keeps me going

and a lot of people who will listen to

to people talk about Detachment will

kind of conclude that okay I can't

afford to be detached because if I

become a detached then like I'm gonna

sit around and do nothing in fact this

sort of apathetic nihilistic mentally

checked out stuff is actually what I

struggle with every day what I struggle

with is to find motivation and so today

what we're going to do is explain a

little bit about the difference between

Detachment and apathy and in some ways

how they're almost completely Polar

Opposites and we'll talk a little bit

about the value and explain why

Detachment can be so good and most

importantly we're going to sort of

explain to you all the mechanism behind

which Detachment actually helps people

move forward

so in order to understand this we have

to start with an understanding of how we

normally motivate ourselves

so normally I have some kind of internal

drive and I have some sort of external

resistance so a good example of this is

that let's say I'm ambitious and I want

to accomplish a lot but I hate my job so

this is the sort of situation where I

don't want to work I don't really enjoy

work it's kind of like this barrier that

I have to overcome and what allows me to

overcome the barrier of the boringness

of work the toxicity of work the

diminishing returns that I get from

putting in effort what I have to do to

overcome the negative situation at work

is some amount of ambition and so some

of you all may sort of really wish that

you were more ambitious right because we

see people who are doing the sigma grind

set and they're like super super

ambitious and they will tolerate a ton

of pain and they're like yeah like you

know I'm going to be hardcore and like

yeah like life sucks because you've got

to like be super ambitious and so what

we sort of do is we have this internal

driver that we use to over come the hump

of resistance and then what happens is

there's this little like equation that

goes on in our head right work sucks so

much so that sort of creates a certain

amount of resistance and if I'm

ambitious enough I can overcome the hump

Overcome the hump of disliking work

of disliking work and that actually

leads me to action which then leads me

to benefits like success and money and

promotions and things like that

so this is sort of normally how we

motivate ourselves there's sort of this

internal struggle between the world

sucking out there and me ramping myself

up internally really juicing myself to

overcome those negatives another really

good example of this if we want to step

out outside of work for a second is

loneliness and anxiety

this is something that we deal with a

ton in this community I've helped a ton

of patients with this kind of stuff

where it's like okay so I'm socially

anxious and it's hard for me to make

friends when I go out and I meet people

like oh my God it's like so painful like

I look stupid I sound stupid everyone's

judging me all the time social media

definitely doesn't help that kind of

stuff so what happens is we kind of move

out into the world we get bludgeoned by

our social anxiety and then we retreat

and when we Retreat what starts to build

up a sense of loneliness and so there's

some research that shows that this is

the Loneliest generation in the history

Loneliest generation in the history of humanity

of humanity and so the loneliness builds

and builds and builds and builds and

builds until it overcomes the resistance

from the social anxiety right so here's

this barrier of social anxiety we try to

you know move out into the world and we

get swatted back and then the loneliness

Rises Rises Rises Rises and once the

loneliness surpasses the anxiety Then

we're so desperate that we can't afford

to be anxious anymore and then we start

moving forward

and so if we think a little bit about

what drives us forward in life it's this

thing over here right it's that level of

anxiety it's that feeling of loneliness

it's the desperation of always being

alone

and this is what we sort of think about

as caring because sometimes that stuff

like if that gets too toxic or too

harmful what we end up doing is becoming

apathetic right so like if I don't have

that driver so I have social anxiety

over here and the loneliness is building

up over here but if I become apathetic

if I mentally check out at work if I

sort of numb myself from the loneliness

that's really what apathy is I stop

caring about life and then I'm kind of

stuck

and so that's usually how we work right

because if we're apathetic we're not

doing anything and the only thing that

we can use to overcome that hump is

actually caring a lot the more I care

about my job the more that I care about

not being alone anymore the more I'm

actually going to motivate myself

forward

but this is not really like a healthy or

sustainable way to live life right in

the case of ambition it results in

Burnout and in the case of like you know

loneliness like it's it's so terrible I

mean hopefully you all don't know but

unfortunately chances are many of you do

that the struggle between loneliness

saying anxiety sucks like no matter how

you cut it even if the loneliness Rises

to the point where you move out into the

world it's still a painful experience

and so what a lot of people will think

is that okay like I can't afford to give

up my attachments I can't afford to give

up the loneliness I can't afford to give

up the the ambition because then how am

I going to do anything

and this is where Detachment enters the

picture

because Detachment is not about

detaching from the world it's actually

about detaching from yourself

so when we really think about what

Detachment is so like here's the world

down here and here's us up here

and we kind of sit in the middle and I

know that sounds kind of weird what do I

mean by that so we kind of sit over here

and what we think Detachment means that

we think it means removing ourselves

from the world right like I'm gonna stop

caring about stuff but if you really

look at it what Detachment truly means

is removal from our own ego so when we

remove ourselves from our ego that's

when we actually become detached now

what does that mean

so I'll give you all kind of a simple

example let's say I want to dance at a

party so I'm hearing the music the music

is fantastic I really really feel like

dancing

what is it that keeps me from dancing

because I can hear the music I want to

move maybe I don't know how to dance but

who the hell cares right generally

speaking people who like dancing to

music don't care if they know how to

dance or don't know how to dance you can

still dance to the music and enjoy it

but what is it that keeps you from

enjoying that moment in the world it's

not the world itself it's your own ego

it's this idea that oh my God if I start

dancing I will look stupid because I

don't know how to dance people will

think I'm an idiot people it's going to

be so embarrassing what will people

think so in that moment there you are

existing in the world and you have

something in the world that you want to

do that you really want to do that you

crave doing that you are jealous when

you see other people who are able to do

it and you're unable to do it and what

is it that keeps you from doing it it's

not actually the world it's not because

the music sucks the music is fantastic

what keeps you from doing it is actually

your attachment to your own ego so this

Your attachment to your own ego

is the thing that's really really

important to understand when we're

talking about detaching we're not moving

away from the world towards ourselves

we're actually moving away from

ourselves and actually towards the world

and this is why people who are eight are

detached are able to dance like there

ain't no tomorrow they're able to

actually live life to the fullest if

they go to karaoke they can just sing

karaoke and not worry about what other

people think imagine what would happen

if you went to a party and you didn't

care what other people thought because

if you really tunnel down into it what

is it that when we say care what other

people think what aspect of other

people's thoughts do you actually care

about you care about their opinion of

you their opinion of you is attached to

your ego in the way that you're viewed

right when a narcissistic person has a

big ego what does that mean that means

that everyone needs to think positively

about the narcissistic person

so this is the key thing to understand

that Detachment and apathy and we'll get

into this a little bit more in a second

or actually complete opposites and what

we're not removing ourselves from the

world what we're actually doing is

moving more into the world and removing

ourselves from ourselves

so what does that mean in terms of that

motivation kind of diagram that we were

thinking about right because here's my

ambition here's my feeling of loneliness

and then there's the resistance that I

encounter so that resistance is things

like oh my God what will people think or

I dislike my job and so if we look at

that resistance that keeps us from

moving forward in life that resistance

is usually composed of emotions and ego

and so what a Detachment actually does

is it lowers that resistance and the

beautiful thing is that once we lower

the resistance once there is no hump to

overcome then we can be driven forward

by all kinds of things we no longer need

ambition to act we no longer need that

loneliness to move out and engage with

people and that may sound a little bit

weird but let's like tunnel down into

that so what Detachment actually does is

lowers that resistance and how does it

do that because let's go back to the

social example I'm really lonely and I

have social anxiety so let's tunnel down

into okay what is social anxiety social

What is social anxiety?

anxiety is the concern of what other

people think about you right that's what

social anxiety is I'm worried what other

people are going to think now if I

stopped worrying what other people

thought that would be freeing that would

be amazing in the most important thing

is that if I stopped caring what other

people thought I don't need loneliness

to drive me to engage with other people

I can engage with other people through

all kinds of other things like hey that

person likes something that I like that

can drive me to form a connection with

them

what about the work scenario right

because in work but I genuinely hate the

work so this is where you got to stop

for a second and you really got to think

why do you hate the work so if you

really talk to people and we do this a

lot for example through career coaching

we worked with hundreds of people now

and we understand why people hate their

jobs a lot of times the reason that

people hate their jobs is because

they're not recognized in their jobs the

effort that they put in is not

appreciated that they have trouble

advocating for themselves and people are

playing politics

sometimes it's because the job is really

really really boring and even in those

cases why don't those people quit those

jobs well because they're afraid of the

consequences of quitting a job what if I

don't find another job what if people

won't hire me somewhere else so even if

you look at each of those scenarios

about why we hate the job what we

actually discover is that it's not the

job itself that actually keeps you stuck

it's all of your attachments related to

the job it's wanting to be appreciated

by your boss wanting to be recognized

wanting to be respected by your peers

which by the way is what leads you to

work extra hard to get that recognition

so any way you cut it what you really

discover is that attachment and ego are

really the things that kind of hold us

back in life and since we're so attached

to the opinions of others we have to

start to use these dirty fuels these

toxic motivators like ambition and

loneliness to actually move us forward

and then we get kind of stuck because we

believe that Detachment means getting

rid of our ambition or getting rid of

our loneliness whereas that's not

actually what we're saying at all we're

not saying that you're getting rid of

either of those what we're saying is

that Detachment lowers the resistance

Detachment lowers the resistance

and so hopefully this is kind of making

sense and I want you all to just think a

little bit about what would life be like

if there was no resistance to what you

wanted to do if you had a particular

desire and your ego didn't say hey

that's going to make you look stupid or

you weren't operating out of like fear

of consequences or things like that what

would your life actually be like and

this is where a lot of people think well

don't I need ambition or loneliness to

motivate me no because once the the

resistance drops down to zero then all

kinds of stuff can motivate you interest

in particular things curiosity all kinds

of stuff actually naturally starts

motivating you why aren't you motivated

Enough by those things right now because

curiosity is not enough to overcome the

ego

right you can be curious about learning

how to dance and hey like you go to a

party and you're like hey like let me

like learn how to dance right let me be

curious about this that's beautiful but

the problem is that that curiosity is

not enough to overcome the ego which is

why you don't live a life that is driven

by curiosity you live a life that's

driven by loneliness or ambition

and so this is the beauty of Detachment

because it lowers that resistance it

separates us from the ego and it

actually starts allowing us to live a

life that's based on things like

curiosity and interest as opposed to

like desperation loneliness or ambition

and so hopefully now you're kind of

thinking okay so like this sounds pretty

cool like lowering that resistance seems

pretty neat so then the question

naturally becomes how do we cultivate

detachment

and so now what we're going to talk

about is sanskrit phrase called vairagya

so virage is the Sanskrit word for

detachment and there are certain ways

that we cultivate Detachment and the

most important way that we cultivate

Detachment is actually through awareness

so this may sound kind of confusing

because in the west especially we have

this idea that the way to get better in

life is to do more stuff right like

people who succeed are doing more stuff

than people who don't if you want to get

ahead you have to network more you got

to play politics you got to update your

profile on LinkedIn the more you do the

more you get right and this is something

that a lot of like success influencers

and sigma grind set folks are like work

harder like have your hustle and have

your side hustle and have your side side

hustle in your mini side hustle and like

right you got to do more to get more

even at work right people will say like

it's the go-getters who get promoted and

so this is the really bizarre thing but

that's actually not how it works and if

you talk to people who are lonely or are

ambitious what you'll find is that they

exert a lot of effort right so even if

you're someone or you maybe have a

friend who's like stuck at home and

struggles with anxiety if you actually

ask that person how much effort are you

exerting

they may be like self-judgmental and

they'll say oh I don't do anything but

if you actually look at the struggle of

their day-to-day life it's actually

really hard right because even going out

Going out is like climbing a mountain

is like climbing a mountain these little

things that are easy for other people

require so much effort from the person

who is more attached who is more engaged

with their ego

so this is where it's kind of bizarre

but the source of iraqia the most

important source of Iraq is actually

awareness and what do we mean by that or

how does that work so this is really

simple where awareness precedes control

so if you've ever had dental work done

this is like the classic example that I

use and you're numbed you can't control

anything if you can't feel it you can't

control it right you can also look at

things like let's say people who are

alcoholic and in denial they are unaware

that there is a problem and without

awareness that there's a problem they

can't really fix it but if you talk to

someone who's an alcoholic and is like

going through divorce proceedings and

getting like written up at work the

amount of effort they're putting forward

is actually astronomically High every

single day that they live is a struggle

in a fight and your spouse is arguing

with you your kids are mad at you bosses

are writing you up there is so much

effort but there is no awareness and we

also know that based on evidence-based

treatment of alcoholism what is the

solution the solution is actually

Insight or awareness right and you we

kind of hear it in places like

Alcoholics Anonymous where they start

every meeting with awareness building hi

my name is all Oak and I am an alcoholic

and that is so foundational because once

you understand that they're once you

understand what's going on once you have

awareness of not just the problem but

the whole system then things actually

become effortless

and there's one really good example of

this which is like I don't know if y'all

play video games but like if you're good

at a video game people will look at you

and will say wow that is so amazing

you must work really hard to be good at

the the video game it looks so effortful

but when you're good at a video game you

actually don't expend a whole lot of

effort it's actually easy for you right

but the question is why is it easy for

you because you understand you

understand the mechanics of the game you

understand the meta of the game the more

that you understand the more easy things

become

and this is the key thing about

cultivating Detachment this is what the

Yogi's figured out is that if you want

to live an easy life that is also

happens to be like more productive then

you need to actually start with

awareness because as as long as we are

numb to stuff and as long as we don't

understand how things work it's we can

exert all the effort in the world and

it's going to yield very few returns

and so then the question becomes okay

how do we cultivate this awareness and

this is where there are a couple of

simple answers the first is meditation

and now some of y'all may be listening

to this and thinking okay so so are you

saying just meditate and like sort of

right but I don't want you all to just

meditate what I want you all to

understand is even if you're thinking

okay meditation doesn't work for me I've

tried it a bunch it doesn't help with

these problems you're missing the point

what I want you to understand is why

meditation works why we use meditation

as the key way to develop Detachment

because Yogi's tested all kinds of stuff

and what they settled on is meditation

and why is that it's because meditation

is the practice literally the practice

where we skill up our ability to be

Skill up our ability to be aware

aware so the first thing is you should

meditate and what does that meditation

mean it means just be aware of stuff

the second thing that I strongly

recommend that you do is spend time with

yourself

so if we're talking about awareness a

key thing that we really want to be

aware of is our reactions to stuff

because it is in our reactions to stuff

that we actually find our attachments so

if we go back to dancing at a party what

am I attached to it's going to manifest

in the way that I react when I'm at the

party so if I want to dance and the

music is fantastic and I really want to

dance and then notice the reaction that

you have within yourself and that

reaction will actually give you insight

into the nature of the attachment we

spend so much time trying to overcome

that reaction right we wrestle with

ourselves we try to overcome and Conquer

anxiety that we don't ever spend any

time just sitting there and observing it

and so that's the the problem is that

effort over that anxiety is not going to

ultimately lead to success what's

ultimately going to lead to success is

awareness and so notice your own

reactions to things and in in that sense

spend a little bit more time just with

yourself and the last thing that I want

to share with y'all is a little bit of

how you could be reacting to this video

so I want you all to notice that when I

say hey like spend some time like

noticing things notice your reaction to

things maybe try meditating what is your

reaction to this video right there's a

decent chance that there's a fair number

of y'all that are saying oh my God he's

saying just meditate I've tried that

before it won't work

so that's kind of interesting right so

if you've been following me this far or

thus far hopefully you kind of like kind

of buy what I'm selling in the sense

that we have these driving motivators we

have these resistances and we rely on

jacking up our motivation to overcome

the resistance and wouldn't it be

awesome if we no longer had that

resistance you're like yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah but once I start telling

you okay all you need to do is be aware

then what is your reaction to that it's

like no no no no that's not going to be

enough because I've tried so hard and it

hasn't worked exactly

so stop trying so hard notice your own

intrinsic reaction because chances are

that if you really tunnel down into that

and this is how you want to know how to

build awareness we're going to do it

right now tunnel down into that why are

you so skeptical that this is going to

work if you tunnel down into your

skepticism there's going to be emotion

there right there's going to be fear

what if it doesn't work or it's going to

be frustration and regret I've tried

this before and it didn't work

I don't want to waste my time there's

going to be all kinds of emotions

negative emotions tied to your

resistance

to doing what I'm asking you to do right

because that's what it is it's the

resistance and what is the resistance

it's emotion and anytime there's

negative motion there's ego and so now

we see in this moment

that if you try to push forward you'll

feel that resistance and it'll actually

it's actually telling you don't do it

don't do it don't do it and how do we

actually overcome that notice that

reaction we can do it right now notice

that reaction why is it that I'm so

resistant to trying this why is it that

I'm so resistant to meditating because

I've tried it and it didn't work I've

been burned I've wasted my time I can't

afford to waste time anymore and if you

have those kinds of thoughts what is

that those are attachments right you

can't afford it oh my God the only times

we can't afford things are when we're

attached to things I can't afford to set

boundaries with my boss I can't afford

to rock the boat in my relationship

when you can't afford to do something

that's an attachment

so I know it sounds kind of bizarre but

the truth of the matter is that

Detachment and apathy are actually

complete opposites and it's the fact

that we get confused about that that we

assume that those are the same thing

that we actually try not to cultivate

Detachment because we've started to

build a system of motivation that relies

on attachment to overcome our resistance

that's the only way we can move forward

but if you really want to be free of all

of that crap and be free from the only

motivator being this toxic motivator or

dirty fuel like ambition or loneliness

or desperation then you have to

cultivate Detachment and the beauty is

that cultivating Detachment from your

own ego allows you to actually live more

fully within the world

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Rae46@Rae46

August 03, 2025

And me, as i am learning me/ my life, excited and naked in spirit

I'm letting it all go🥰🥰🥰😚😚😚😚😄😄😄😄😃😃🤫🤫😉😉😙👍🤗💋🫡🥰🌞😂💫😁😀😁😋🥲🥲🐻😬🫠⛱️🏖️🏖️❤️😀😭🫥🥰🤤🙂‍↔️🐢💫🐬🤗🤗👍🌊😙🐺✨🌅✨😉🥱😚😔🤫😗😄😃😙😚😗😆😗🥰😉🤩🥳😃🥳

00:00:47

Rae46@Rae46

August 03, 2025

Todays impression of the mutation and support of my yin by life!🥰🌞✨😘🫡🤗❤️❤️❤️❤️🌅🥰🌞💫🙂‍↔️🐢🏖️❤️😀💋😘💋🐬🫡⛱️😬😀😁🫡🌊🤗💋🐬⛱️😬😋😋😘✨🐺😍😙👍🫠🥲🐻🥲🤫😔🥱😚🌅😉🌅😉

00:00:22

Rae46@Rae46

June 24, 2025

Mother daughter day for my personality birthday🥳💋

00:00:26

Rae46@Rae46

April 10, 2024

Velo Freeze four to Mighty A...

Mighty Peppermint 4, ofc...
🤣

Rae46@Rae46

September 11, 2025

How do you work out shit when you cannot talk to anybody about it (i.e. have an undefined throat and nobody asks you?)

You don't
Chemistry?(Sp. Authority or/and Cognition) U feel it, let it go, come back to it, come clean

U got yourself a cutleryset for a steal of 130,-€. Instead of 278,-€?

Damn !!
Yup.
U got it.
Congrats
Pat xourself on the back for it was correct :)🙂🫡

If not, u accept that you got it anyways

Stop doubting you can't process this without anybody else to talk to

Soundboarding is great yes

But u do this before a decision
So if you wanna celebrate?
Do it alone
2nd line is being seen??
Go pal!
Run what you know :))
(I do, just now)

Am extremely happy.
And relieved to finally have some cuttlery i like and long term care to use

Also to throw out the garbage i bout about 4 months ago.... Damn

What the shit

Now i got WMF to be :))

Rae46@Rae46

September 10, 2025

love love

Rae46@Rae46

September 10, 2025

To me that looks like sp cognition :D

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLQWM8jsBN6/?igsh=MTdxOWdzeWN5cWx4dA==

Rae46@Rae46

March 07, 2025

party care and nourishment of the sacral

no need or thought about initiating yourself ;)

people think u have it overflowing
people want it
you dont have to give it to anybody
they have to respect you- for your decision
caus they dont want you to leave them

you´re attractive
and they want you to use it for their good
they want you to use it all for themselves
they cannot care
for how you are after you leave their aura
because they don´t get it
(example of my live: my boss almost fired me yesterday because i asked for vaccation and he goes yeah- how are you exhausted you only work 24 hours, if this doesnt work for you then we need to find an arrangement; now he is an emotional baby, a guilttripper and just ignorant- not everybody is that extreme)

but that doesnt mean you have to initiate or proof anything afterwards either.- you can just generate a life for you that makes you satisfied
and regardless of how doom and gloom your surrounding is changing when you stop pleasing them with your sacral
caus they still want it
all for them
they think they need it
obsessively

some-things are just to be accepted and brushed away- yes to their face- don´t care once they left
you can still deflect- with actions, words, looks, close proximity
you are a generator (if you are- sorry to those who aren´t)
you can unvelop shit- and still envelop shit and still let people go their way with you.
and now you are probably exhausted from reading this- so let me help you recharge a little too maybe.:

your responsibility is you- your energydiluting sacral
the world is energy- and you can respond to it
on many fractured or unfractured levels
it´s not only that
energies can vary wildly
you just and only have the obligation to refill yourself- your lifes experience- your satisfaction/frustrationrate to fulfill your trajectory ofc- if that´s what you want

you are not a pressmachine
you do not have to sacrifice yourself
you do not have to sacrifice other enrgies to this life to make it somewhat comfortable here.
you do not have to proof yourself to the incompetence of these surroundings or others
you are you- acknowledge that this is a good thing to acknowledge- for you found who you are.

now step two of recharging is
not making their need you inevitability
just don´t
they wanna run up against walls?
yes!
go!
let them do it until they ASK you for help- or until (in my 4/6 way can redirect them to somebody that knows) ....., in response!

you are not julia of hellraiser- levithian, you have no other god to atrribute and gain something other than -your-self-you-life
you dont have to watch them
you dont have to reach out for them
you dont have to think about them and neither be attached to them or their actions
regardless of how kicking and screaming they might appear to you- is this how you go out? okay- how beautiful to remember a satisfied life---? istn´t this thrilling?=D
i guess so =)

so no mental argument for intercepting with them any more unless correct (motivation or whatever resonated)
you have your energy for your life
and - thus following thru on not helping and rushing to other people you suddenly found detachment
AND thus- didn´t let your energy go berserk in multiple directions that you didn´t care for.
bless your heart, you noticed.

arguably there would now be a step 3 but to me it often shows that it can be either or so i´mma call it the completion of recharging
so recharging is nurishing yourself.
and this feels really nurishing to me to let all my wisdom go- to not have to ever be asked but see my smarts- to know if people would want to get it from me- they can sign on here and search and maybe find what they are looking for
i guess its like the peace my mom experienced when i came to help her move and or- when my boyfriend had the surprisingly best summer ever or when my sibling learnt that depression is not the answer to life- and that letting go of surpressing the sacral is (imho that happened - at least i saw it move out of her body when we moved my mom as i passed by her, which curious if she remembers sitting in the vw crafters sideentry and me walking out of the appartememnts groundfloordoor and our uncle being in the back side of the van lifting some shit- curious to see her reaction if she has one:D/ ever gets to see this;))
so long story short, rejuvenating yourself and your access to that earthly wonderfull samsara energy can be reading a book, cooking, eating for that matter, going for a walk, sitting about and doing nothing/ staring at the sun :D ;) (blue ball! not black with rainbows streaming from it- we are alive- now), taking a break watching some series/movie, etc, inactionand action can both be it- i find the best moves for me are dancing when i feel tired- going to eat and then sleeping, as well as connecting to other people that i love and apreciate and wanna see their life develop/unfold with- like a livestream type of deal, so it can also be for you getting a new hobby- or hobbies, or just sitting with yourself for a change, meditating, etc... theres only os much i can write now, caus i´ve been overly caring for others developments as it was juicy and i see that now i am detaching from them and their stuff is helping me relationship with myself again more and clear and loving and soft and definite (without certainty)
be big, be small, trust in your life being the proof of your energy & valuability, ride stinky motorbikes,..

so again:
recognise your juicy godly (caus they believe you must be heaven sent to have this- instead look at themselves or something, they disregard uniqueness)..- self
you got this- you know who you are, you can decide for yourself.
2nd
watch out for other peoples suckles for your energy
don´t try to walk on eggshells- deflect them, let them go to the bio-bin, right where eggshells have a use (for instance)
anyways .:D
your aura is un- or eveloping, sometimes both
3rd/totality/ our human form summa sumarium
recharge in the ways you like- that recharge you, learn, rest, sleep, follow your s&a with others, be an outer authority, use your cognition with you, be sexy, eat, touch, smell, live a little. and / or more. :D

ps: complete exhaustion can also be thoroughly helpfull at recharging your sacral- certain energies have wild differences in actions and energy use- acknowledge what you need do it all at the right time, your body/ sacral knows this

disclaimer: this is only from me being a sacral generator and having claimed my first vaccation, which my boss wanted to be rejected by force which he couldnt caus i was honest with awareness and communication

and yes- they wanna rule you- so don´t believe them, only your sacral authority.
you gotta experience the right energies for your life, move, adjust, dont give a fuck about their psycho mental & emotional abusestrategies. dont believe them when they say they know better (nn?- hell fuck yes you can get fucked with your "smartass")

thank you very much

Read full Article

Rae46@Rae46

February 08, 2025

she is so good =))

for the soul

I've been in business for 10 years and here are 10 lessons that I've learned in this last year that helped me have my

best year yet so hopefully by the end of this video you can too the first business lesson is that missed

opportunities are not problems we were going to do a book launch for Alex in

the very beginning of 2025 and so over this last year we've just had a tremendous amount of opportunity in all

divisions of the business and so we're ready to do this launch from a like the product is done standpoint but from a

team bandwidth standpoint there is none and when I looked at the cost the cost

of following through with doing that launch is that two other things that are going very well and growing very fast

would suffer because they would use the same resources because those resources were planned to handle this I came to

him and said I think it's best that we push it because could we do it yes at

what cost not one that I'm willing to pay we have a lot of people that are tapped out at this point I would be

toned deaf to put more work on people's plates and so I said this isn't a

problem it's a missed opportunity and it's actually a missed opportunity that if we capitalize on makes our real

problems worse sometimes things don't go according to plan sometimes things go better than according to plan and then

when that happens sometimes it up other plans that you have and the reason for that is because the real problems

that I have in my business are things on the back end of my business but sometimes if you capitalize on all the

opportunities you just stoke the fire of the problem that exists and make it worse I said I never want to make the

same mistake twice that's one thing that I've like kept myself to in my business career and what I recognize is that I

felt very similar to when I had gym launch and Prestige Labs during the conversation I essentially ended up

folding and then what happened was what I was afraid of which is it diluted our resources it diluted my attention and it

was the business that I was the least proud of building because it wasn't done well the frame that I always put myself

under is under what conditions does it make sense to capitalize on this

opportunity it's not about time it's conditions if I can get these 30 people hired then under those conditions it

makes sense to do a book launch if those conditions don't exist then this book launch will actually make our problems worse most companies die from the inside

out bad internal decisions bad internal hiring and firing bad internal culture

the little is what kills a company most companies die by indig gestion not starvation if you only have one

opportunity then all your attention is going to go to that opportunity let's just point to something minute that you would think wouldn't make a lot of money

toothpaste everybody uses toothpaste think about billions of dollars have been made off of toothpaste people might

be like oh but like we're missing out we should have toothbrushes and we should have floss yes but you could also make a

billion dollars off toothpaste and if you're only focused on toothpaste you're probably going to put a lot more effort there and you're probably going to get

there a lot faster and so a lot of people have this imaginary Rush that causes them to cap wise and

opportunities that they're not ready for when you try to force things you try to force conditions rather than allow

conditions to happen it makes it a lot harder to do and so if you're an entrepreneur and you're looking at like

this year I have an opportunity to do something I want you to ask yourself what's the cost of capitalizing that opportunity have I solved my biggest

problem before tackling my biggest opportunity if we solve the problem in our business the opportunity presents

itself now here's the last thing I'll say one habit that I have never let myself get into regret of a missed

opportunity is worse than failing a missed opportunity regret is truly useless and what you're doing is you're

stealing attention from capitalizing on the next opportunity and so if you do say no to an opportunity do it without

regret the next business lesson is that there is no one solution about a year ago we started our Workshop Division and

it started with an absolute boom and so we'd been doing this for about 6 or S months and then for a period of like 2

weeks noticed that there weren't as many people referring other people to the workshop and I was like why would our

Word of Mouth go down I don't understand like why would it get worse not better I remember sitting there thinking and I

was like I think actually what it is is that people habituate to things and when they habituate they start to slip up and

so then I sat in for the next three Workshops the greeters that were supposed to greet people when they

walked in they were not on time and in fact we didn't have as many as we had in the past lunchtime some people were

taking meetings they were with portfolio companies so so they just decided not to show up for lunch so we had less people socializing at lunch goodbye one thing

that I have emphasized is that it's really important to say hello and goodbye to people and people actually were not saying a kind farewell it

wasn't any one thing it was a hundred little things and so as I observe this

we have to go full bore into this I to make sure this is a great experience if it's a bad experience I'd rather not do it when people have a problem they're

trying to solve when something goes wrong when a metric isn't where we want it to say sales are dipping revenue is dipping people are complaining customers

aren't staying whatever it is like what's the one thing and we're searching for some magic answer when it's actually

just 100 golden BBS I explained this concept to my team I explained to them this is 100 golden BBS it's not one

silver bullet and here's all the things that I believe have led to people not telling as many people about this so

what we did is we made sure the greeters were there on time and there were more greeters we made sure everyone was at

lunch we made sure everyone was at the brakes we made sure people said hello goodbye people called people by name

what happened we went back to the same stats we had prior within one Workshop

it wasn't any one thing it was like I think my list was like 11 things that we did everyone had a different reason as

to why something worked or didn't work and you know what that taught me is that every business is built on a thousand

details I think in the beginning we feel like we find silver bullets because we don't know how many bullets left there

are to make something really work once you really get into business you realize like it is all about the details and it

is is everything it's not just marketing and sales it's marketing and sales and Cs and it and operations and HR the

second thing it taught me is that attention to detail is the currency of success in business something I tell my

team is we don't teach Excellence we demonstrate it what I mean by that what you say to them doesn't matter how you

say it to them matters when someone comes in for a workshop are they going to listen to me talk on stage about business if my team can't even say hi at

the door I think not but what I did learn from this last year is the amount of details that go into maintaining

excellence and so if you're looking at your business and you're thinking you know I think I need to change who I

serve I think I need to change my product I think I need to completely redo my price I think you know more often the not it's

not a strategy question it's an execution problem and as you grow execution only gets harder because what

is execution it's not just you doing stuff it's your ability to get tens or

hundreds of other people to do stuff for you so if you're trying to figure out what do I need to do with my business this year and things aren't working like

I beg of you try and fix 11 details before you try and to fix one big

strategy the next business lesson is that most people won't buy in until they see it work it actually goes with the

last lesson I just talked about which is you know we started up this workshops division when I had the idea for doing this I was very certain it would work

and I understand what skills are required and I've also myself put on probably 50 workshops in my career just

in a different business and so I'm thinking this is a no-brainer but my team was like this doesn't make sense

how are we going to do this I spent so much time trying to get everybody to

like my idea and trying to tell me that they think it's a good idea before

hitting go and what I realize is that only a few people will believe it before

they see it more people will believe it after you really try to convince them but most people will not believe in

something and won't buy into something until see it work and I recognize that

this is the case and what I actually don't want is I don't want everyone to agree with me and I don't expect everyone to agree with me I don't expect

everyone to say it's going to work instead what you want is you want people to act as though the idea has a fighting

chance so that you can find out if it actually does most people doubt

something will work until it becomes so obvious that it is impossible to ignore and I was reminded this last year of the

fact that that buy in is impossible to get from 100% of your team people come to me a lot and say like I want my team

to buy in what you actually want is you don't need them to believe it will work you need them to act as though it could

possibly work because if people act as though it will never work then they will not execute 10 out of 10 and then you

don't even know if the idea will work or not you don't need them to believe like you believe that it's going to happen and you shouldn't expect that only a few

people are going to be like that on your team but that shouldn't stop you from taking action this was a really great lesson for me because I had a lot of

people on my team coming to me I'm concerned I don't understand I don't think this is going to work I said I

don't need you to believe it but I do need you to execute as if it has a

fighting chance and that was what I told everyone on my team and ironically after

they saw it work then everybody was very supportive of it they laughed at Galo until they looked through his telescope

so it's like people will laugh at you they will mock you they will tell you your idea won't work the people closest to you will do this that's normal and

honestly if everybody tell you that your idea is going to work then you're probably being lied to and they're probably scared of you I will never

punish somebody or fire somebody for having a different opinion what I won't accept as if somebody doesn't give it a 10 out of 10 shot by not executing

because there's many times where you know somebody that reports to me wants to do something a certain way and I'm like I don't think that's going to work

that way but I support them as if I think it could and then sometimes I'm proven wrong sometimes I'm proven right

either way I don't believe it until I see it the next business lesson is that you want to bet on the job Rocky not on

the horse no matter how fast the horse is sometimes we see a business opportunity that's just so obvious it's

so easy that I'm like there's no way this is not going to work you know what that did is it sort of blinded me to the

fact that I kind of took the founders at face value I didn't dig very hard to

test how much of a Founder fit they were to see that they shared values all these little things that I saw in the

beginning but that I didn't push on became big with those Founders lack of

discipline lack of self-management actually led to them not being able to

grow their business even though the business opportunity is one that is a clear winning shot the founders

inability to manage themselves the founders in ability to discipline themselves got in the way turned what

was like the fastest horse into like this horse with like a limp leg like just trying to cross the finish line a

great leader a great CEO can make an average idea succeed and a poor leader can make even the best idea

fail now if you're looking at hiring people I think this is another area where I've just seen that in the past

I've bet on the horse not the jockey what do I mean by that I actually consider the horse what I'm hiring

people to be their experience rather than if they're a fit for the team I've hired people have been like Allstars at

you know Microsoft and Google and I brought them in for them just to fall flat because they weren't a culture fit

were not a values match but they had this insanely cool experience and so I bet on the experience rather than the

person if in your business right now you're looking at how do I want to set myself up for success in the coming year

no matter what I know it is hard because you can't measure what you have to gain

you only measure what you have to lose in these situations if you're in that situation you're like well I would lose this all this experience this person is

going to bring but you don't know what you have to gain by saying no to this nothing is better than the wrong thing

I'm I'm going to bet on the jockey I'm done betting on horses and if I can't

find a jockey that I like no jockey is better than the wrong jockey the next business lesson I learned when incentives are designed poorly they can

sabotage even the best of businesses and teams one thing that happened for me in this last year is that I think that I

was behind the eightball with a couple of departments in terms of getting incentives in place quickly and so

because of that was that when people don't know how to make more money in their role they want another role and so

what it incentivizes if you don't have what I call like a technical track for performance meaning you don't know how

to pay an individual contributor more for doing better work then they say well I would like to be a manager most people

don't inherently want to be a manager or leader most people just want to make more money or they want to feel like they're improving if people are given a

clear path to improve in the role that they have most people opt for actually just staying in that role making more

money getting a better title improving there but because I got that behind the eightball what I realize is that in a

couple of the Departments what they're incentivized to do is to try and stop doing the work that they are doing as

quickly as possible and start managing people as quickly as possible you create this environment where people feel like

the only way that they can grow in your company is if they move up into management and then you also incentivize

people to stop doing the work that they might be best in the world at then what it does is it creates this like very

contorted culture where it's like people will essentially sacrifice what they want for what they see is rewarded and

so what I saw is that in two departments in my company because people were incentivized to move up in their

management roles being a director to a senior director they were just trying to get more people under them so they could

move up faster and that's because I failed to show people how they could make more money staying where they were

and so what it does if you don't do that is it incentivizes blo in a company it is in that person's best interest to

create a big team because they know if I get these people under me I get to move up into this position that they've

expressed they really want but they don't see a way to do that to move up into that position unless these things occur something that's really difficult

is to incentivize people immediately in the beginning of a business I just put people on salary for the most part I

don't have many incentives as the business within 18 months or 24 months

is at a point where it's more mature I have clear metrics that I know I want to hit and I know the averages for them

then I'm going to say okay I want to tie people to these having metrics that incentivize the behavior that you want

incentives are B based on having Baseline metrics you cannot incentivize people to do better until you know what

average is so one you have to know what you want out of a person or a department two you have to know what average looks

like and what below average and above average are when a business is a year or two years old I have a very hard time

setting incentives that are very specific because metrics tend to change so quickly what was a good close

percentage when you're at month three is probably pretty shitty at month 8 because you gain so much efficiency so

quickly it's like you grow out of a compensation plan very quickly and so how do you stop this you can stop it by

showing people how to make more money without moving up and incentivizing performance not just on moving up in a

company so what that looks like is you have two tracks in a company you can have a management track and you can have

technical tracks most tracks in a company should be technical tracks meaning people can learn how to make

more money in their current role only a few people get put on a management track because it doesn't make sense for a

company to have 17 people going on a management track you don't need 17 managers more management is not always

better no management is actually not better either what I learned is that I need to pay more attention as the

company's growing to making sure I get these things into place faster that reminds me of this quote by Charlie Munger which says show me the incentives

and I will show you the outcome and so if you want the outcome of your business to be one where you have really strong

leaders and you've got really strong individual contributors you need to have a technical track and a management track

the next business lesson that I learned this year is that you have to prioritizing solving personal

constraints before business constraints I had a time about 4 months ago where I

had actually three departments that I thought needed change and there was one that made the most sense to tackle but I

was speaking with one of my friends he asked me this question which prompted me to remember this he said yeah but which

one is the one keeping you up at night and I was like well it's this department he's like well why I'm like well this

person is taking six to seven hours of my week every week because of their emotional needs because of their

coaching needs because of like their dependence on me uh and because of that and then and then underneath that is now

the department has these issues and then this person is relying on me to help solve those issues and like but the thing is that that Department's not a

constraint this Department's a constraint and he said he was like Leila you won't have the power or attention to

solve the real constraint unless you solve your personal constraint and it was just such a good reminder for me because I am really good at putting

others and the business ahead of myself because I look at myself as like I'm a steward of the business I need to do

what's best for it because if I do what's best for the business I protect everybody else sometimes it doesn't look good sometimes it's not something people

are going to like but I know that the goal is that the business does two things survives and succeeds if it does

those two things then I protect my team but the thing that happened is that over time I've gotten more skill and I've

gotten more capacity and so my ability to take on more has gone up and what I recognized this last year is that that's

not always a good thing because what I was saying what is the number one problem in the business I I need to

focus on solving that one and yes there's these things that are bugging the out of me but I'm not going to solve them because this logically makes

the most sense to do to grow the business however if my attention which is arguably the most costly attention in

the business if I'm only able to use 60% of it to solve this problem because 40%

of it is taken by this thing that really personally is frustrating me then I can't even solve the problem in front of

me to the best of my ability because my attention is being sucked and so what what it does is it gives you more power

to solve the business problem once you've solved the problem that you have a personal issue with and so I sharing

that with you because if you're going into this next year and saying like what do I need to solve first sometimes you

got to handle your personal and it doesn't even need to be personal it can be the thing that takes the most attention from you you know for me this

was quote personal because it took so much of my discretionary time you know and that's because I care for the people

in my company I care for the Departments and so if somebody is needing my attention needing my help all the time and there's things going on that maybe

aren't aligned with the culture I want to build that takes my attention and these things are happening in the back of my head yet I have a problem in front

of me it's completely unrelated and so for you that could be a business problem it could be a personal problem think

about whatever that problem is it's just stealing from you your power to actually tackle the number one thing in your

business the reason why I think business is such a great vehicle for personal growth is that if you really want to grow the business you have to tackle the

things that constrain you before the business you know what it really reminds me of is this quote which is the

bottleneck is at the top of the bottle and so you have to free yourself first and the business will follow the next

business lesson is that momentum makes everything better when I first started in business I just fell into it we had

been working really hard for 2 years launching gyms and then suddenly we got product Market fit and things took off

there was no like planning on a whiteboard six-year plan like there was nothing and over my business career what

I learned is that the ideal is that you create a flywheel a flywheel is a system

where all the parts make the whole better and a flywheel creates momentum in a business so if you improve this

piece of the business it makes this piece better as well and for a long time I really wanted to have that in my

business and I didn't have it I tried to create it in gym launch and it just didn't really work as well as I wanted

to and so when I started acquisition. comom my main goal was like how do we create a flywheel in this company so

that we have momentum because if I have different divisions of a company but they don't make each other better then you get less return on your effort so we

have our brand what our brand does is it allows us to get proprietary deal flow

meaning we get access to deals that nobody else gets most of the people that come to us and want to partner with us

they're not looking to sell to another PE firm they're looking to sell to us and if they cannot sell to us and they

don't want to sell so that's proprietary deal flow then getting those companies we share the stories of those companies

we share the wins of those companies and we share all the lessons that we learn through growing those companies which creates more deal flow for us and then

that deal flow we say okay well we can't take all of these into the portfolio because that's not our model and they

don't qualify and so instead what we're going to do is put them into incubation program which is our workshops division

the workshops division creates content it also creates deal flow and so what that looks like is like workshops create

deal flow for portfolios workshops create content for brand brand creates deal flow for portfolio brand creates

deal flow for workshops you see it's the self-fulfilling machine and what happens is that if you design your business this

way then it is inevitable that you succeed an example of this would be like

Fitness think about compound movements so why is it that we want to prioritize like squats you've got bench and you've

got deadlift why are those the core Foundation of working out because these create more momentum they don't just

isolate one body part they actually make all the body parts better so if somebody's trying to grow muscle they're

going to do compound movements they're going to do a lot of volume on those compound movements because they know

that when you do squats you're not just growing your quads you're also growing your glutes and your hamstrings and your

calves same with deadlifts and so what that means is that now if I grow my brand I also grow my portfolio and my

workshops Division and my Ventures Division I don't just grow one thing this year has proven to me that if you

create that flywheel everything gets easier now what does this mean for your business is that as you say hey maybe I

want to add a new product maybe I want to add a new division how does that product or how does that division Vision

grow the others this forces us to be actually strategic and it forces us to create a flywheel effect Jim colins said

this a flywheel is a self-reinforcing loop once it's in motion it is Unstoppable momentum and so if you want

to build momentum in your business if you want to create a flywheel think how can I be strategic when I add a division

or I add a product so that it makes everything better not just one thing the next business lesson is that executives

are rarely let go go for performance I had to part ways this year with a couple of Executives in the company and I said

why did this not work it wasn't that these people were not performing and it wasn't that they were even misaligned with the values it was that for the most

part they were misaligned with the vision or the founders so they were misaligned with where we were going

because values in my opinion are how you get there performance is going to say how fast we're going to get there but where are we going and if somebody on

your team wants to end up somewhere that you don't want to it's really hard to work together because they're just

opposing your vision at all stock misaligned leaders break companies aligned leaders build legacies and so

for me I had a few people that were very close to me that I loved working with that were very high performers that were

really competent but they weren't aligned they were trying to influence me to go to their Vision rather than the

one that I've had for 5 years since I started the company and what that does the lack of unity at the top creates

chaos at the bottom and so their departments bear the brunt of that as do other people in the company because what

they see is that when you're on leadership calls when you're on Executive calls people can tell that there's misalignment and so what I

learned is that misaligned leadership is like having a car with its tires all

pointed in a different direction what happens is it goes nowhere and so if all the leaders at the top are not aligned

the car will not move sometimes that person never had the same vision to begin with OR that that person thought

they could change my vision or that that person developed a different Vision along the way it's kind of like if

you're in a relationship ship with somebody and you're both like we want to have a family and a white picket fence and kids and then like 2 years in

they're like hey I actually want to live in the city and I don't think I want kids and you're like wait what do you

mean we're going to have this house like that's what we've been talking about you can want that and I can want this but

like we can't really be married ultimately misalignment is why it doesn't work with people who are very

competent and also culture fits it's like a marriage with one person wanting the house with the white picket fence

and one person wanting to live in the City and so something that you can ask yourself as you go into the new year is

my leadership team creating alignment or are they creating disunity do I have

leaders or high performers on my team that are culturally aligned but don't want to go the same place I want to go

there's nothing wrong with that but it can't work in the company the next business lesson I learned is that

businesses grow faster than most people can grow in one situation I had a person who was killing it that role got

promoted by the company growing and then that person who was killing it became actually like the biggest bottleneck in

the company and like millions of dollars at stake because of this person's incompetence but what I was really lucky

for is that I did not over tile that person too much and so what I was able to do was to bring somebody in above

them and then that person was able to take that person who had been a star and then turned into like the biggest

struggling person and make them a star again because what they did is they filled in the Gap often times when you over promote somebody or the business

over promotes somebody it's like seven to 10 skills that they're lacking and that could take a year or two years for

them to acquire if the business doesn't have time to wait then you need to make sure that you bring somebody in to bridge the gap in the interim there's a

principle that really extrapolates this out it's called the Peter Principle and what it states is that in a hierarchy

every employee tends to rise to the level of their incompetence meaning they're promoted based on their ability

to do their current job well not on the potential to do the next job job well so

for example say I have somebody who's a controller in my company and then you say you know what you're such a

good controller I'm going to promote you to CFO but the skills to be a CFO are

not the skills to be a controller and so you can take somebody who is a great controller and then make a terrible CFO

and so what happens is that individuals rise to a position where then they're no longer competent and then what that does

is it creates a ceiling of incompetence the business can no longer grow because of the incompetence of the person that

you have put in that role and so you've essentially taken someone who's like a superstar and turned them into like the biggest struggling person in the

organization and then a business is only as strong as its weakest link so if you have six leaders in the organization but

two of them are at their level of incompetence meaning they're not competent for the role they're in those weakest links are the strength of the

organization you start to create this Dynamic too where it's not just you that feels it or the other leaders but it's

other people that are their peers that start to say what's going on why aren't they doing a good job why this why that what happened to me this year is that I

didn't actually promote anybody but my business promoted them because it grew so fast if a company quadruples or

quintuples in a year then the person who was the operations manager at the beginning of the year is not competent

to be it at the end of the year and so that's always why I'm like such a fan of under tiing because then you can bring

somebody in above eventually if the business grows too fast and you don't have to worry about demoting people or letting people go and so if your

business right now you're looking at you're like we're growing really fast I want you to understand that there's two things that could be occurring either

one you promoted People based on the skill that they have in their current role not the skill that they would have to do the next role or your business

grew so fast that your business promoted the people for you and they're no longer competent in that role and so in that

case you have decisions to make which is if you promoted them then you can try to offer them a step back down and position

in some way as a benefit on the other instance if the business promotes somebody in their world

then I think you have a better shot at bringing somebody in a level above them to help bridge the gap because the likelihood is if the business is grown

really fast and they're outgrown for their role you probably do need somebody above them as well over promotion turns

Talent into a liability and a bad fit in a good role is actually worse than no

fit at all so ask yourself this like is the growth of my business outpacing my

team's ability to grow as leaders and if so what can I do to prevent over

promoting people past the point of their ability because the leadership team is the most important team to pay attention

to because leaders multiply themselves if you have an incompetent leader you will get an incompetent team the last

business lesson is that business is personal what I watched over this last year is one of the founders of one of my

companies essentially their personal life was in chaos and they kept telling me that it is not going to affect the

business I didn't believe them because essentially everything that was happening on a personal side started to

seep into the business side this person formed a lot of bad habits they were hanging out with a lot of people who weren't good influence and so what

happened is that we had a business that was growing year-over-year for 4 years and then cut in half because this

person's attention was going towards all this drama and so all these things that

were happening outside took away all their attention that they could have for their business you cannot compartmentalize chaos if your personal

life is in shambles your business will soon be in shambles as well this is a lesson that I've learned for my s and I

feel really fortunate cuz I had a mentor in the beginning and he said your personal life is your business life if you want to be regimented if you want to

be happy in your business life be all of those things in your personal life and so I've always tried to live my life in a way where in order to succeed and

achieve my goals in business I have to actually also achieve those things personally in order to show up in a way

it doesn't create chaos in my business your attention is like a jar of marbles and so if you're drinking you've got

five marbles here if you've got an issue with your mom it's five marbles here if you have a bad marriage it's 10 marbles

here and so everyone looks and they only have five marbles and then they try to grow their business with those five

marbles and then they say why can't I grow my business he says well you got to pick up your marbles from all the places that stealing them get them back the

first thing I did before I started my first business was I said where am I leaving marbles there were some things

that me and Alex hadn't hashed out or agreed upon before we had moved in together and so we had to have those

conversations and so what I did is I picked up all these marbles from all these places I put back to my jar some

people say like how did your business grow so fast I had more marbles than you I picked them all up I'm constantly saying what other areas of my life are

stealing my marbles it's not that you have to say off to everything else in life it's that you have to say how do

I get my marbles back so that they actually give me more marbles rather than take more marbles if you have a

great body in physique you probably feel better when you show up at work if you have a great marriage then you probably feel better when you're going into your

business because you feel supported the point is is that you cannot compartmentalize chaos if your personal

life is a mess it's stealing from your attention to do business if your personal life is in order that will give

you the attention to go into business and just be a Savage the greatest threat to your business is not

your competition it's your unresolved conflict with yourself and other people your personal chaos will always bleed in

to professional Clarity you will not be clearing your business if you have personal chaos surrounding you and so

the question that you want to ask is are the things going on in my personal life affecting my ability to lead and grow my

business and if they are that should be your number one priority right now go figure that out you know a great rule

that Alex and I have always had is like we always have to feel really good about our relationship otherwise we can't show up and like go to war together every day

to like grow this business we would take an hour two hours whatever it took before we showed up for everybody else

because we knew that unresolved personal conflict leads into business

Read full Article

Rae46@Rae46

September 02, 2024

Codie Sanchez RuleZ (s)

all around you in the world you are only going to get hate from two types of people people who have done less than

you and people who are scared you're about to do more than them you have to be so good they become irrelevant how to

be so good you ruin your competition how do we just step on their necks I am so

tired of hearing all the reasons why we can't all the reasons why you can't win

why they can't win how do you do it all as a woman blah blah blah the second

that you start looking at your competitors and asking what they're doing and how can we iterate on that is

the second you've lost I thought we'd talk about how you make so much money that when people talk you just go

scoreboard so I'm going to go through my nine rules to hit a nine figure business the

hard truth that I wish somebody would have told me when I was first starting out and they definitely didn't because

it's not PC now the first rule is don't be afraid of outgrowing everyone your

friends yep your family likely the people that you hire today who you think

Dont Apologize

are great probably every single person and the only way you're going to get

through this is by not apologizing for a second for outgrowing people who cannot keep up with you hard to do really hard

to do nobody wants to be the person to tell another one that they are not enough but the truth of the matter is is

that if you do not push people on to their next level where they're supposed to be you instead are kind of saying

this you're like you're not good enough for me you're not right for the company you're still here and I don't think that

your talents are good enough for you to go somewhere else and be great that's what you're saying when you keep mid

performers you're saying I feel sorry for you you're my charity case you have to stay here but in actuality what are

you holding them back from probably a place where they could be great and I tell you this because I had a story

where I was I was with the CEO of one of my financial firms so I was at a company called First Trust and at this company I

built out their Latin America business right and so we went from zero dollars in assets under management to over a

billion in assets under management and I was really proud of that and then one day the the CEO of the company took me

on a walk at the Montage in California and uh he said something I'll never forget I wanted us to do 21st century

Acquisitions I wanted us to do what we're doing now use a big platform acquire a ton of attention and through

that be able to do smarter Acquisitions at lower cost at scale and I thought we should get rich together as opposed to

get rich quietly and as we're walking along the beach Jim looks over to me and I'm I'm still good friends with Jim to

this day and he says to me around here we don't do it that way and if you want

to row to the left while we are rowing right you have to find a new boat at the

time I was pissed right I'm like I just brought in a billion this place I have

the future of how we're going to grow this company look how successful I am today at it and yet you're telling me

that this is not the right place for me I was really mad and yet he did me the biggest favor ever imaginable he kind of

gave me an ultimatum so I left the company and I started my own and I'm

billions and billions bigger in fact we're 4X billion in assets under management for our portfolio companies

now as opposed to the 1 billion with him but I never could have done it if he didn't push me out and in a way he was

kind of saying you aren't growing as fast as I am so get out of here and that is okay and I want to give you guys permission to do that how many of you in

your minds right now have one person in your company that is like the Splinter underneath your

fingernail you everybody usually you know you need to fire them how long how

long have you known that you need to fire this person I saw a hand up over here somebody want yep do you guys want to say it to her you want me to say it

to her the second that you know you need to let somebody go what do you need to do now

maybe not the exact second it's okay to say I need to have a plan but the biggest reason why your company isn't

growing is one person there is one person have you guys ever tried to do

something with your fingers when you have a splinter underneath the fingernail can you do very much else are you distracted the entire time of course

you are because you've allowed one person to slow down your business never apologize for outgrowing somebody let

him go now to show that I'm not only just talking to you about this I wrote

this part because I had a Splinter and I was doing the opposite of everything that I tell people to do and

this guy had been in my company for like six months and I saw him in the office and was like hey Bob how's the kids in

the meantime I'm so mad I'm mad that he's slowing us down I'm mad that we're not fast enough and so I called up a

friend of mine really good friend who also has a portfolio and I was like yeah I got this guy got let him go she's like yeah I got a guy too I got to let him go

and I'm like okay cool you know let's touch base on it what are you going to do well I follow up this was on Friday I

follow up on Tuesday with her and I'm like yeah so when are you letting that guy go she are you kidding me I already did she goes rip off theing bandage she

goes what are you here are you an employee or are you the CEO I was like well that's rude but yes I'm the CEO

that's me and so every time you think you have that splinter think about the Band-Aid that you have to rip because I

can almost promise you one thing how many of you here have fired somebody who you thought was an underperformer and

regretted it look around this room I have been in thousands of rooms

like this with tens of thousands of people you know how many people raised their hand that they regretted a fire in

not one and yet why do we wait we're allowing them to go on to something else and yet we're not I have another thought

who here wants to be a billionaire I also like when when I do this in women's room when I do this in Men's Rooms they go yeah what I do in women's room they

Who Wants to Be a Billionaire

go h I

do uh so I want you to maybe embody that a little bit more CU let me tell you what to be a billionaire it takes a lot

of zeros I'm not there yet I'm not there yet but if you want to be a billionaire

you have to shed some skin I always think about the snake metaphor right so have you ever seen those ridiculous

looking B constrictors that are so big it almost seems unreasonable if they were to hold on to

the person that they were before they would never get to that size they'd be a cute little garden snake run around and

instead are eating alligators or something in Florida I don't know you people live different down in Florida

now the reason that I bring a billionaire and I'm going to get into math I promise I won't do too much of it here this is what's called a triple

triple double double double a triple triple double double double is SAS speak

for how to get to a billion dollars inside of five years after you find product Market fit so at the bottom what

you can see is these are a bunch of big companies that basically hit this escape velocity that led to them having a

billion doll valuation what's interesting about it is if you break down the numbers you can basically see

how this happens now we're talking billion dollar valuation not billion dollars in sales two different things so we hit product Market fit now typically

I say companies have product Market fit after you have at least seven figures in revenue and you typically want recurring

Revenue with a high degree so I want 50% of my Revenue at least recurring if it's

not you have AOW lovely transactional business you do not have yet product Market fit to have billion dollar scale

so we get to 2 million then we hit 6 18 36 72 144 in order to do this you have

to be unreasonable because of how rare this is you can't get bigger if you don't shed your skin so I want to talk

We Hate You Incorporated

about something really quickly when you start getting to triple triple double double double round you're going to have

to get to this step which is so many haters they form a support group it's

like we hate you Incorporated they got T-shirts they got hats they got merch drops because the problem with scale the

average person do you know what the average person makes as an increase in their salary each year average person in

the US you want to guess 3 to 4% you're exactly right so what does that mean

well these numbers here don't know a 4% in order to do this you have to hit

numbers so big at average is in your rearview mirror and so of course you're going to have haters why because those

who only hit 4% do not understand 400% and when we don't understand something and we can't see ourselves in it we hate

upon it and so I thought about this in my life so when I started contr caring

thinking and I came from traditional private Equity you know working at Big firms you guys could imagine what guys

in finance look like right this is I mean this is nicer they don't look this

nice this guy looks kind of lovely but if you can imagine I come into this crowd that looks like this and we got

this chick you know she's in her bikini on the internet she's talking about she's on Tik Tock and I start building

what is now one of the biggest mergers and acquisition education Platforms in

the world we've taught 5,000 students how to buy small businesses we're giving all the playbooks that private Equity

guys hold close like this we're sharing How We Do billion doll deals and our

people have done2 $62 million in transactions just last year and that's not my company those are students where

I take no percentage of their of their businesses that they bought you could imagine how they felt about this chick

coming in here and doing that there were support groups and they were not for me and I

think you guys are going to realize this same thing the second you start hitting velocity speed you're going to have

haters come at you because the truth about Americans is that we love the underdog until we're not one anymore

We Love The Underdog

love the underdog until we're not one anymore we love the scrappy person until that person gets a jet then that

guy that's okay in some ways we don't want to lose our relatability but it's

important to know as you go forward that if you think that you have to be liked or that you want to be liked as opposed

to when you're going to spend a lifetime of suffering and I like to think about it like this this is very technical

scientific I call it they hate you because they ain't you curve and this is what it looks like at the beginning they

go lame then they go she's kind of crazy then they go one hit wonder then they go oh yeah she F that guy didn't she then

they go what the her then they go yeah I know her then they go hey long time no

talk text message then they finally go love to meet up and finally after that how'd they do it and once you understand

this curve if we know where we're going on the road if we have a GPS that's getting us to a destination do we get

upset when we know that there going to be a traffic jam or that it's going to take 3 hours no we don't cuz we kind of know where we're going but nobody tells

us that this is actually what success looks like that the second you start to hit velocity is when people start to act

a little different to you but on the climb on the way up all the rest of this is totally normal and that is okay

because the best revenge is spelled Revenue baby and I think a lot of people

The Truth About Money

don't realize this but the truth about money that we don't like to say in today's society is that money solves a

lot of issues and in fact think about this for a second for 20 years they told us that

there was no material happiness increase past $775,000 in income I'm not a

scientist but I was happier after I went past 7 75k anybody else here yeah of

course 20 years they go no trust the science we go I don't know I feel happier now finally they say you're no

happier past 500k okay I don't know 500k sounds pretty good but I still think

there is a material difference in happiness with each level of dollar you put in your pocket let me tell you why

because all money is it is a ticket into the bank of I do whatever the I

want and you can't really tell me what to do and they try to tell us that money is evil that in order to chase it you're

bad you're selfish why would you focus on that rub your crystals while you

rent I like crystals just to be just to be uh Fair here I'm a crystal girly but

you can't manifest your way to money you just can't now manifestation with a

little bit of action plus a quartz crystal awesome but any one of those by

themselves not going to do it and so the point of this story is it is okay to chase Revenue relentlessly and in fact I

think you guys have a moral obligation to do it to a certain point think about what you can do once you don't have to

worry about money and you can exert your influence on the world we've seen

especially over these last couple years what happens when we do not have Financial Freedom can we push back on

government overreach not really do we get to push back on medical overreach

when we don't have cash not really do we get to push back on how they educate our kids no private school is pretty

expensive so freedom is spilled Revenue too and I think that's okay for all of

us to realize it and women we have to realize that too they actually tried to pit men against women ridiculous

ridiculous we're both born from a man and a woman as far as the science checks out there the real push is against those

who want the money for them and not for you and that should be our biggest argument who cares what's down here

don't care okay now Rule Number Four The Truth May set you free but first it'll make you miserable this is my pep talk

The Truth About Leads

for you guys how am I doing is everybody like yeah okay so can I go on a little bit of

rant here you're like what has the last 20 minutes been if not a rant all right

here's the rant I was talking to one of our portfolio companies so we have all these CEOs right they report up to me and the CEOs always say there is one

reason why their company isn't growing what do you guys think it is leads somebody said it right here well if we

only had more attention leads money we'd be growing if we had more sales we'd be

growing let me tell you why this is such an amateur reaction Pros realize one thing

that amateurs don't you never have a lead problem you have a product problem

this part is where I'm going to go a little hard at you guys and I had to go hard at me I have many companies that have a product problem and not a lead

problem here's the difference most businesses today do not

actually bring in water into a boat with a bucket they try to do it with the Civ

and they're like nope no not enough leads not enough leads not enough leads what do they actually have they have a

shitty product that they don't want to look in the face so if right now in your business today you think your problem is

leads I want you to seriously question that for me and I want you to ask yourself if instead it might be the

three Rs renewals referrals reviews if you don't have at least 20 to

You Do Not Have A Lead Problem

30% of your customers coming from referrals other clients saying nice

things about you you're trying to bring water into a boat with a siiv you got a leaky bucket problem you do not have a

lead problem I realized this at multiple of our companies one of our CEOs came to me and they said we don't have enough

leads like I just want you to think about how ridiculous this is for a second this is a company that I pushed

through contrarian thinking contrarian thinking gets a 100 million views a month does that seem like a lot of

views this company that we pushed uh leads to got anywhere from 10 to 30,000

emails for their particular product a month does that seem like a lot of leads yeah

and yet they didn't have enough sales so what does an amateur say give me more leads for me to eat and do nothing with

because of my inadequacy because I have chosen the wrong tool look yourself hard

in the face and ask yourself do I have a lead problem or do I have a product problem here's the beautiful part about

this if you have a product problem that is about 10x easier to

solve than a lead problem everybody wants more sales so it's expensive

everybody wants more leads so you got to pay a lot for them on Amazon or on Google or with PPC but only you are

uniquely your product set with your particular unfair advantage and your

particular Persona and so if most Founders spent on10th the amount of time

perfecting their product as they did perfecting their funnel they would never have to sell again one of my mentors

said something to me that I've never forgotten which was when I went out on my own for the first time and I was

running a private Equity company so in that case my in my client at the time was investors you know I wanted them to

give me money and me to take action with them and he said I want you to do something for me he's like I'll invest in you I'll invest in you if you treat

your first client like it is the only client that you will ever get and you

try to get five more clients from your first client and I was like that's hard I ask them

for their money and their grandmas and their moms and their dad that's that seems tough and he said well then I'm not going to give you money okay fine

you don't do that you don't get my cash so I said all right fine I'll try and I did and because of that you have never

seen me once fund raise on the internet anywhere because I ended up having five Partners I don't raise any more capital

and they told a few other people about me and so the problem in most of life is

a pound of pre-production is worth 10 pounds of post-production and what does

that mean when we do videos like Tanner and I are doing here most of the time we

kind of go and film right it's like we're going to do a couple hours of thinking about stuff beforehand but then let's go out and do it but you want to

know why the big guys win because they spend all the time up front and you

can't edit a bad ingredient and so I want you guys to think about your

product aggressively anybody know who this is chamath poaba billionaire you

Seven Friends in 10 Days

want to know why he came up with one idea at Facebook one idea that led to Facebook being one of the most powerful

companies in the world and it's called seven friends in SE in 10 days what he basically found was that if you came to

Facebook and in your first 10 days at Facebook you had seven friends either

come with you or you brought seven friends you stayed for life so what did they have to do did they have to go out

and get a bunch of new users or do they have to obsess on making their first users bring

buddies this is what made Facebook a billion dooll company now the interesting part about chth is now chth

is a billionaire many times over and he has had fail after fail after fail just for shits and gigs Google chamath poopa

and then Google spack and then have some fun reading about the haters this guy gets online but it actually doesn't

matter why because all you need is one win so big it erases all of your fails

and that is what this guy has and so spend the time that ounce of pre-production to find your seven

friends in 10 days what is the one secret to your business that you don't actually even realize is there

Archimedes says give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it and I can move the world most

business owners have no leverage but brute force in their business what is yours now this is what this actually

looked like this is what seven friends in 10 days looked like so basically what

you can see is that that number over the far right positive predictive value

which means with 99% certainty chamath could tell you that if x action happened

y client stayed inside of almost every business is a 99% predictor and yet most

of us don't even know where to drive the 30 or 40% in our business so my plea to

you is if people can't shut up saying nice things about your business your problem isn't leads your problem is your

Your Problem isnt Leads

product spend an inordinate amount of time on your product and your leads will

never be an issue again this is why Apple's advertising can suck ever since

Steve Jobs died I mean do you guys ever see an apple advertisement now and you're like that guy

yep no you don't they used to be masterful and now they aren't does that

matter of course not why because their product is so good that you tell all

your friends when you get the new component of it all right rule number five your bank account is a reflection of how good you are o that one

Your Bank Account is a Reflection

hurts especially because I think all of us realize that we want more in the bank account but the second that I realized

this is the second my bank account started to grow and let me tell you why I had this uh CEO at one of my companies

and um he had the ultimate flaw that is the cancer of our society today which is

is that he doesn't think that he has to earn he thinks he deserves the right to

earn and so we had a goal and I said hey I don't know Bob Bob if you hit this

goal you're going to get a $100,000 bonus cool quarterly goal hit the 100K hit the bonus get 100K awesome well

comes around Bob's excited we sit down for the meeting he goes hey here's the

goal we're only off by about 5% how awesome is that

and I was like did I say a hope or a goal I know they're both four letters

I'm pretty sure that they're spelled differently and he expected to get the 100K without missing the

5% this is the world we live in today where we think that we are playing a game of Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

which means the close is good enough and it doesn't now what's fascinating is one of my chief executive officers who

oversees all of our portfolio companies heard this from Bob and said well you know he did get almost a goal like 5%

off of goal we should probably give him like the bonus right here's the

thing people will hold you to your highest level and they will sink to your

lowest standard and what I realized in business is my chief Executives actually thought

that they deserved payouts they didn't understand that there's this Ripple down effect inside of a business that means

that if I pay people for not achieving the things that they said they were going to do in a short short amount of time will be out of business right do

you guys know the average profit margin for Walmart one of the biggest companies in the world how much do you think they

make per dollar that you give them six

cents think about that for a second you have a disconnect between your top

leaders their communication with your employees and the standards that you've

set and that is a different kind of grenade rule number five again

apparently but it's actually assume your best competition Works harder and is smarter than you it's an

Assume Your Competition is Better

interesting thing I've realized most people when they get competitors what do they do they go yeah but they're shitty yeah but they're not good enough yeah

but you know that's kind of cringe yeah but their product isn't as good I actually want you to flip something for me assume that your competitor is better

smarter richer and better funded than you and then take action and let me tell you why this is billionaire Joe craft

he's become a friend of mine Joe owns the biggest uh mining operation in the

World in Coal also one of the largest producers of energy in the world at a company called Alliance Joe is from as

he would say it the sticks of Kentucky right he's from the middle of nowhere and when I was talking with Joe a couple

weeks ago about why he's so successful what are some of the reasons why as kuckian do which is probably similar to

people from St Louis he's like oh man I don't know luck you know Shucks and uh

as I'm sitting on his fourth plane and uh and then I asked I du a little deeper Joe is up at 5:30 in the morning Joe is

74 years old 75 years old Joe doesn't go to work until uh doesn't go to sleep until 11:30 at night Joe has been doing

that for 48 years as the CEO of Alliance that's your competition if you

want to be a billionaire and I thought maybe that's just Joe he's kind of a psychopath well then I met another

billionaire who's become a friend of mine this is Jeffrey Kent he runs a company called abomi and Kent one of the biggest luxury travel companies in the

world and I sat next him on a plane got to know him and as I'm talking to him I said what do you think your secret is

man you know you've been a billionaire plus a polo player plus your friends with King Charles that's kind of cool

and he looks at me kind of perplexed almost like what a stupid question and is like Cody I've been doing this for 61

years at the same company what if time and consistency is the only ingredient

you need the average employee in the US stays with a job now for three years

3 years the average business in the US lasts less than five what if all you

need is time plus consistency plus irrational work

ethic that's sort of an interesting idea I have this on the wall in my house

a reminder almost daily that I read to myself it is very simple you do not have what you want because you have not done

what is necessary to get it another way I think about this is do you just do what you want as opposed

Do What You Want

to what is needed and I realized very often I did what I want instead of what

was needed I waited two years to fire the person because I didn't want to fire them I went on the vacation even when I

felt like the company was going sideways I obsessed on leads even though though I knew we had a leaky bucket in product

because I did what I wanted not was necessary the next one culture doesn't start from the top it slides downhill

Culture Doesnt Start From The Top

from the middle this one was fascinating all our life we've been told culture start starts at the top right culture

starts at the top the truth of the matter is you have to employ people who are as good at as or better than you

because the problem is your lower level employees are actually looking at them not you you're like too far out of their

mind as a CEO they don't they don't look at you and think they should act like you they look at you and go yeah of

course you work hard it's your business yeah so it's not my business I'm not going to have to work as hard as you

what a reframe is that the second that you realize that actually you know who you have to look at real hard who's your

second level of leader who's your right hand your Chief of Staff your SE Suite

your main leaders of your business their work ethic is the best you will get from

the people underneath them so hold them accountable I had an employee the it's

just just happened the other week an employee for one of my sub companies came into my main

uh office and studio in Austin and it was a Friday and uh it was 2:30 and he

came into my office and he said hey um I'm going to head out you know beat traffic anything else you need from me

the CEO of one of my companies two of his employees were still in my office I sort of looked at him and said okay

you're leaving now he said yeah I'm going to you know I'll do some work later at night today I said okay and I

thought about it and I realized that especially in this day and age where we're zooming and we're not in

front of people all the time most of your company is like an iceberg you see the best that they do but underneath

there is a world of non-performance happening if you're super honest with

yourself as a leader you know that in your gut right so what did I have to do

I had to have a tough conversation with this guy and say you are my representative the second you leave at

2:30 what do you tell your employees you're not obsessed you're curious do we hire curious people around here

absolutely not we hire obsessed otherwise go do something else plenty of other companies for the Curious in a

simple 9 to-5 not at my company rule number seven if you can't find top talent that means you are not top talent

You Are Not Top Talent

ooh tough one let's think about this for a second does a lion want to work for a

gazelle no want eat that the problem with most leaders

is that we go what there's no good people anywhere right where are all the hard workers can I get a better

recruiter but the first thing we should actually be doing is look in the mirror and we should be asking ourselves this one question am I good enough to attract

Look In The Mirror

and lead the Lions and if not beautiful opportunity because what's easier to

control other people or you I thought about this in a few specific ways for instance for a while I really didn't get

ready uh in the office I was in finance I like didn't think appearances mattered really that much when we were internal

into the company then I started to look around and I was like people look kind of sh like you're

in your workout gear in the office today we're not a workout company we're a finance company like what what's going

on here and then I had another employee that came into the office and they actually came in after a workout and they didn't shower and I was like one

gross dude only a dude would do that sorry guys in the back chicks wouldn't do that uh and but as opposed to going

after those employees I thought about it for a second I was like this is a Mei problem this is actually a Mei problem

so I started like doing my makeup wearing clothes that are nice putting outfits together do I like it not really

but there is scientific data that proves one first impression equals almost the

hardest thing you'll ever have to get to overcome if the first time somebody engages with you they think you're unprofessional they have a split-second

reaction to you you have to do a ton of work to overcome that second is people

pay Pros because they look like pros so you got to ask yourself are you looking like a pro so very easy first thing to

do when you're in the office do you look like a pro because Pros pay Pros well second is are you the level of talent

that you would respect if you were a top performer do you show up to meetings late sometimes maybe are you out at 2:30

on a Friday are you responding to stuff over the weekend we have this crazy world we have clown world right now and

CL World they go oh don't reach out to your employees over the weekend right you guys have heard that like literally

in France I saw a lot I don't know if this is true that if you email your employees on the weekend you you violate

a law so we've had this this this work life Balan nonsense plugged into our

brain the problem is you don't require your level of dedication for your employees you can't nobody will ever

work as hard in your business as you do you own the thing but if you are not obsessed how can you expect the top

performers to be obsessed you know what I think about hiring top talent like I think about it like this the only reason

a top performer would come to you is because your dream is so big it creates

this umbrella at which they cannot imagine whether in the storm better than

they could with you you create a vision so big that the outcome that that they

see for themselves with you is bigger than the outcome they see by themselves that is the only way so this guy this

big monster his name's Bobby look at that poor he just can't you tell he's like not even trying and he kind of

accidentally kicks the guy and and puts him to the ground Bobby is an animal Bobby was at a company called SeatGeek

he grew the marketplace from 5% to 40% market share multi-billion dollar company and when I met Bobby to hire him

over to my company Bobby was making a mill plus a year he was a stud and when I went to sit with him something weird

happened to me he was like uh how big do you think this company's going to get what's your vision for it what are your

plans for the summer what what's the worst partner that's ever partnered with you think about you when was the last

time you fired somebody for underperformance what do you think you will do when the company runs out of

cash at some point and you have to put more money into the company this is an interview for me to interview the guy to

come be at my company and me to pay him almost a million dollars a year this is what top performers sound like they

interview you and if you are not not bringing people in with that level of intensity I mean he's nice he smiles he

picks the guy back up but he beats the out of them and that is what you want for your top performers especially

ladies us it is literally in our nature to be more nurturing it's very hard to

like I'm sure you guys have felt this have you ever come home from work you're in like your work mode you like get in the door like yeah honey anyway so what

I want to do for dinner is this and then I'm thinking that your husband's like Jesus do that ever happen anybody hard

to flip right helpful if you have a bunch of lions surrounding you and they

respect you enough to help you be the bad guy two I got two more friends from

business not business from friends this is really important and a little bit of

Business Not Friends

a tweak when you start winning you become a Target Donald figured that out

this weekend and I think all of us will figure it out in one way or another the

bigger the win the bigger the target and let me tell you what I mean by that

there was a guy who stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from me that is actually the priced entry to winning but

Target

this guy in particular stole hundreds of thousands from me okay not exact but he is what I think he looks like in my head

whenever I think of this guy I picture this I actually hysterically Googled the guy's name and

this picture came up which I think is karma could also be unrelated now this guy stole from me but what did I learn

from that I actually learned something really important let's say that I met

somebody like Emily for the first time and the first time I met her I was like let's do a deal together let's let's

partner on this can you invest in this thing for me that is called business from

friends not friends from business if your first engagement or action with

somebody is an Ask as opposed to a give red flag it is okay to do deals and

business with friends long term when you're at equal level of success that is the biggest thing that I've realized you

don't want to actually partner with people below the position that you're at you want to employ those people and then

allow them into the profits this is a nine fig lesson that I wish I would have learned earlier and then rule number

nine to get a little touch you feel in here I think Mar and well is the biggest life hack of all and the truth of the

matter is is that if you don't find somebody who has a growth mindset as opposed to a fixed mindset who wants to

grow alongside your life will be misery and I should know I was married previously to a guy who's awesome in his

own realm but wanted a a fixed mindset life which I didn't and if you guys

promise to not tell anybody including everybody on YouTube eventually watching this I'll tell you guys a secret and the

secret is before Chris I mean I was worth like I don't know you know healthy eight finger figures Higher Side assets

Why is that interesting

post Chris nine figures plus why is that interesting well it's not because he had

m he didn't come for money at a military salary he didn't have experience none of the money actually came directly from

The goal is to stay happily married

him I have the bigger businesses he now works in them but it came from the fact that I truly believe that having a

partner that you can rely on whether that partner is a man or a woman is a

life hack and so the goal isn't to get happily married it's to stay happily

married and I I kind of stopped talking about this for a while because I have a lot of

single girlfriends and I think it's really hard being single for men and women and yet I think it's for

us to tell people that like it's fine and it's easy to be single and out there I don't think it is and so I think no

matter what you do pouring into your partner and realizing that they will be the biggest reason that you will get

from one level to the next is a truth because whoever you choose will also

choose your bank account for you and I think men have known this for some time

Hire people so hungry

but as women we haven't and it's important thing that we start to tell each other all right last rule hire

people so hungry they look like they're going to bite you my dad said a line I loved which is I was struggling in

You cant teach hunger

business and uh I didn't I had this person who wasn't performing and I said to him dad you know this person and I can't get him to do this and I can't get

him to do this and he said this line that stuck with me forever which is you can't teach hunger think about that for

a second I can't make you hungry I can't make you want it it is the single most

important thing you need in your hiring process process Relentless almost

uncomfortable hunger if they don't have that who cares how good they are totally

irrelevant if you can get a team so hungry you're afraid they're going to nibble you you're probably on your way

to nine figures all right with that let me say the last thing here which is this I think in this world today you all are

incredibly rare only 3% of the US owns a small business 3% only 10% of small

businesses will ever reach a million doll in sales 4% of businesses will ever hit $10 million in sales most people

want to be led they don't want to lead because there is a certain misery to

making millions it's just true and so no matter what you go through for the rest of the

day I hope you know this I respect the out of you it is hard and I promise

only one thing a lot of misery and if you continue for a long time it ends up becoming worth it thank thank you guys

so much for having me today

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