
not liking and not beeing liked
today my boss told me i was arousing some fuckhead (he´s crazy, every body knows) who over six corners complained to eni
i could care less
and i do actually
today the orf clause of 2024 came due for pay,
i am furious
there was a vote in 2019 that the gis was stopped
i went there- i voted against them
there were set to go
they returned as orf clause - i am not watching the orf
and i am not listening to the radio
furiousy is an understatement
i am trying to care not about them
because they don´t care about me
but about my money
i am missing some guy and my soul is emtpy of him/lonely and i am hopeing to translate this into motivation to do stuff for my self- i do this writing for myself- wich he was hard on me about today, my soul is unhappy with that
i´m breaking up with hiding selfhate and psycho-trust in people
and it is weighing in my emotional freedom/ quietness
and this is the past days update (for the solareclipse- whoooo)
but seriously
i learned that i´m good at liking myself and i am hateing the hate of myself so i am doing it all for me
includeing the lipedema treatment with oil and massages and healthy food (touch really needs!!!)
+ i am listening to other creators (and their advices) with very cautious ears
and i am hearing that everybody who respects the hustle (for themselves) will succeed
and i am integrateing the material plane love success energy too
(as far as i can see and name what is happening)
and i notice that i always because while pretending to be in the dark(unknowing)
while i just don´t stand taller than the opponents awareness
this is a strange and hurtfull process
i can´t really not do it because otherwise i would give up my space
it´s very opening in the hip and belly area (while standing noticeable how different muscleareas are REALLY WORKING) and the people at work have all sorts of reactions to that,
wich is the hurtfull part
i notice i am trying to be rejected
and jet (
my fourth line is like an infection cure
people often leave very differently after they unplugged in front of me
and i today heard the term - that this is the way it´s called - to unplug
the advice given to me was to not plug LOL)
WELL, i believe to not plug also means to not care
and that is really resonating with the mundane plane (to me)
how would i be successfull for MY LIFE if i was BUSY BEEING SOMETHING (THAT I´M maybe NOT) in their LIFE!?=OD)
anyways i am digressing
and it´s been fun to write this one also
i am happily working towards my total freedom and i´m curious how integrateing all their BS is gonna look in the future and especially where i am going because this is not right for any more year longer as far as i am concerned now
and i am trying to not implement liking and beeing liked because that is such a (to me now sounding) psyche thing like complaining about stuff that is not real or has not happened or funneling about the future qithout active meditation.
idk, i´m trying my best here and of course i´m gonna fail
OR not
BC
I
LOVE
MYSELF
.
.
.
Sincerely
ME
😉 RAE☺